From the late Great George Carlin
Part I
A 12-Ounce Pound Cake
Accurate Horoscope
Act Naturally
Adult Children
Advanced BASIC
African American (Italian American, Polish American, etc.)
Agree to Disagree
Airline Food
Almost Done, Almost Exactly, Almost Ready
Alone Together
American Indian
Amicable Divorce
Anarchy Rules!
Anxious Patient
Appearance Hearing (court appearance)
Approximately Equal
Artificial Intelligence
Assistant Supervisor
Auction Winner (you still have to pay for it!)
Audience Participation
Authentic Reproduction
Awfully Good
Awfully Nice
Baby Grand
Bad Health
Bad Luck
Bad Sex
Bad Sport
Ball Club
Beaver Moon (think about it)
Benign Tumor
Black Gold (slang for crude oil)
Black Light
Black Russian
Blue Bird of Happiness
Blue Green
Big Baby
Birthday Suit
Bitter Sweet
Boneless Ribs
Books on Tape
Bridegroom
Bright Night
Buffalo Wings
Bulldog
Business Ethics
Butt Head
Cardinal Sin
Casual Dress
Catfish
Cautiously Optimistic
Charm Offensive
Chocolate 'Nilla Wafers
Christian Militia
Christian Scientist
Civil Disobedience
Civil Servant
Civil War
Classic Rock
Clean Litter
Clearly Misunderstood
Clever Fool
Click the start button to shut down
Close Distance
Cold Fever, Cold Sweat
Comedic Tragedy
Commercial Art
Common Sense
Compassionate Conservative
Computer Jock
Concession Stand
Congressional Ethics
Conscious Sedation (hospital term)
Consensual Rape
Conservative Stock (as in the Stock Market)
Conservative Think Tank
Constant Change, Constant Variable
Constitutional Amendment to Ban Flag Burning
Conventional Wisdom
Couch Potato
Crash Landing
Creation Science
Criminal Justice
Criminal Mastermind
Crisis Management
Critical Acclaim
Cruel to be Kind
Cupboard
Current History
Posthumous Conception (using sperm frozen before the donor died)
Preemptive Self-Defense
Preliminary Final
Press Release
Pretty Ugly
Primitive Technology (Aboriginal and other early crafts)
Private Community
Progressive Conservative
Public Opinion (opinions are unique)
Pure Evil
Quicksand (you sink into it very slowly)
Random Logic
Rap Artist
Rap Music, Military Music
Rarely Done
Reagan Democrat
Reagan's Memoirs
Reality Television
Recent History
Red Licorice
Relaxation Exercise
Religious Education
Religious Right (because they're wrong)
Religious Tolerance
Resident Alien
Restless Sleep
Retired Worker
Rolling Stop
Rogue Cop
Rural Metro (ambulance service)
Rush Hour
RV Resort
Safe Sex
Safety Hazard
Same Difference
Sanitary Landfill
Sanitary Napkin
Science Fiction
Scientific Consensus
Second Best
See-Saw
Self-help Group
Self-rescue (wind-surfing term)
Self-taught
Serious Clown
"Seriously, you need to lighten up."
Short Distance
Signing Off On something
Silent Alarm
Silent Scream
Single Diversity (a type of wireless microphone)
Singular Relationship
Sit Up
Slumber Party
Small Crowd
Small World
Social Outcast
Social Science
Soft Rock
Solo Concert
Sour Cream
Speed Limit
Spendthrift
Stand Down
Stock Modified (performance car term)
Stop Action (w/thanks to John Sweeney)
Straight Hooks
String Cheese
Stripper's Dressing Room
Structured C Program
Student Teacher
Suicide Victim
Sure Bet
Sweet and Sour
Sweet Sorrow
Synthetic natural gas
Tabled Motion
Talk Show
Tax Free, Tax Relief, Tax Return
Tentative Decision
Terribly Nice
Terribly Pleased
Terrific Headache
Tight Slacks
Titanium woods (golf clubs)
Toll Free
Tough Love
Toxic Assets
Traffic Flow
Tragic Comedy
Truck Farm
Turned Up Missing
Unacceptable Solution
Unbiased Opinion
Uninvited Guest
United Independent (a real taxi company in Los Angeles)
United Nations
Unknown Identity
Upper Low (weather term)
Upside Down
Urban Cowboy
Useful Oxymoron
Vacation Bible School
Vibrating Ringtone
Victimless Crime
Virtual Reality
Virtually Identical
Wake (you wake up, yet at a wake you're dead)
War Games
Where the Truth Lies
White Chocolate
White Lie
Wicked Good
Wireless Cable (type of cable TV transmission)
Work Party
Working Vacation
Young Adult