Topic: Don't Ask Me How I Know This, But..... (Read 8931 times)

Chief · « **on:** July 09, 2008, 01:40:59 PM »

Recently, it seems that a lot of knowledge / experience is being shared, but the manner in which that knowledge was obtained is shrouded in secrecy.

This thread was started in the Humor section for obvious reasons.

I'll start.
Don't ask me how I know this, but you shouldn't enact the "five second rule" with your eyes closed when there is a cat box nearby.

iski, I know you can beat that.

iski · « **Reply #1 on:** July 09, 2008, 01:51:49 PM »

Chief, not sure it beats yours or anyones. So many to choose from......

Don't ask me how I know this.....If your self closing/locking motorcycle wheel chocks are not mounted to the floor (or anything solid) it is better to NOT put the bike in one just to "try it out".

Special_Ed · « **Reply #2 on:** July 09, 2008, 02:24:21 PM »

Never ask Donna to hand you the asparagus when you're wearing shorts and she just took it off the stove and placed it in a colander without anything under it. Damn that boiling water is hot!!

OUCH!

Trapperdog · « **Reply #3 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:20:16 PM »

When towing your CVO's in a 28' toy hauler, don't keep the kee fobs in the glove compartment of your truck and wonder "where are all those sirens" coming from.

Special_Ed · « **Reply #4 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:35:03 PM »

Quote from: trapperdog on July 09, 2008, 03:20:16 PM

When towing your CVO's in a 28' toy hauler, don't keep the kee fobs in the glove compartment of your truck and wonder "where all those sirens" are coming from.

hard10 · « **Reply #5 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:35:57 PM »

Chuck you've been reading too many "other" fourms.

Special_Ed · « **Reply #6 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:43:09 PM »

Quote from: hard10 on July 09, 2008, 03:35:57 PM

Chuck you've been reading too many "other" fourms.

Other forums??! Moderator! Moderator! we need an adult! There are other forums?

Fired00d · « **Reply #7 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:43:57 PM »

Quote from: trapperdog on July 09, 2008, 03:20:16 PM

When towing your CVO's in a 28' toy hauler, don't keep the kee fobs in the glove compartment of your truck and wonder "where all those sirens" are coming from.

That's a good one reminds me of the time I woke up and heard a sound that I thought was the flush valve going bad on one of my toilets. The sound was intermittent so I was going around checking all the toilets in the house never to find one that was making the noise. I then went outside to find that a hot air balloon was really close overhead and the noise I was hearing was when the pilot was giving it blasts of hot air. No doubt that hot air balloon wasn't on the top of my good list that morning especially since they woke me up to start.

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

Fired00d · « **Reply #8 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:45:14 PM »

Quote from: Special_Ed on July 09, 2008, 03:43:09 PM

Other forums??! Moderator! Moderator! we need an adult! There are other forums?

You use "Moderator" and "Adult" in the same sentence??

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

Special_Ed · « **Reply #9 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:46:59 PM »

Quote from: Fired00d on July 09, 2008, 03:45:14 PM

You use "Moderator" and "Adult" in the same sentence??

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

Well normally I wouldn't but Neal is away.

iski · « **Reply #10 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:51:04 PM »

Don't ask me how I know this but never wear jewelry when working on your bike. If you are taking off the fairing and your hand slips, a "reminder" of your wedding ring can magically appear in your front fender.

Only $24 bucks to have it removed.

Not the wedding ring, the reminder. sheeeesh

SBB · « **Reply #11 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:51:47 PM »

Quote from: Fired00d on July 09, 2008, 03:45:14 PM

You use "Moderator" and "Adult" in the same sentence??

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

Good point!

iski · « **Reply #12 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:54:43 PM »

Quote from: Fired00d on July 09, 2008, 03:45:14 PM

You use "Moderator" and "Adult" in the same sentence??

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

Fired00d · « **Reply #13 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:56:17 PM »

Quote from: Special_Ed on July 09, 2008, 03:46:59 PM

Well normally I wouldn't but Neal is away.

Yea I keep letting him know we are having fun at his expense while he's gone.

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

Fired00d · « **Reply #14 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:59:16 PM »

Quote from: Silver-Black on July 09, 2008, 03:51:47 PM

Good point!

Who asked you......

Chithead!!!!

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

SBB · « **Reply #15 on:** July 09, 2008, 03:59:30 PM »

Quote from: Fired00d on July 09, 2008, 03:56:17 PM

Yea I keep letting him know we are having fun at his expense while he's gone.

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

Now I'm pissed!

Been worried about OB1 and you know where he is all the time.
No love, no love.
I've been dissed!

SBB · « **Reply #16 on:** July 09, 2008, 04:01:32 PM »

Quote from: Silver-Black on July 09, 2008, 03:59:30 PM

Now I'm pissed!

Been worried about OB1 and you know where he is all the time.
No love, no love.
I've been dissed!

Somebody please get me an adult moderator!
I have a complaint!

Special_Ed · « **Reply #17 on:** July 09, 2008, 04:02:17 PM »

Quote from: Silver-Black on July 09, 2008, 04:01:32 PM

Somebody please get me an adult moderator!
I have a complaint!

Are there any??

Fired00d · « **Reply #18 on:** July 09, 2008, 04:08:21 PM »

Quote from: Silver-Black on July 09, 2008, 03:59:30 PM

Now I'm pissed!

Been worried about OB1 and you know where he is all the time.
No love, no love.
I've been dissed!

Haven't you been reading the thread you started? Or would you like for me to put all the innuendo's together. Surely you wouldn't/couldn't be upset because someone knew something you didn't. Must I remind you of a few things...... Hinges....... Dremel.

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

Fired00d · « **Reply #19 on:** July 09, 2008, 04:09:14 PM »

Quote from: Silver-Black on July 09, 2008, 04:01:32 PM

Somebody please get me an adult moderator!
I have a complaint!

Take a number, and one will help you as soon as they become available......

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

Talon · « **Reply #20 on:** July 09, 2008, 05:03:28 PM »

Quote from: Fired00d on July 09, 2008, 03:45:14 PM

You use "Moderator" and "Adult" in the same sentence??

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

Is that like Army Intelligence??

iski · « **Reply #21 on:** July 09, 2008, 05:05:56 PM »

Don't ask me how I knew this...... but I knew this thread was going to go waaaaaaay off topic almost as soon as it started.

Talon · « **Reply #22 on:** July 09, 2008, 05:07:21 PM »

Quote from: Fired00d on July 09, 2008, 04:09:14 PM

Take a number, and one will help you as soon as they become available......

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

Here he is.

harleyteam · « **Reply #23 on:** July 09, 2008, 05:10:41 PM »

Quote from: iski on July 09, 2008, 05:05:56 PM

Don't ask me how I knew this...... but I knew this thread was going to go waaaaaaay off topic almost as soon as it started.

don't know about the topic,,,,,,,, but you definately got me on TRACK

iski · « **Reply #24 on:** July 09, 2008, 05:13:50 PM »

Quote from: harleyteam on July 09, 2008, 05:10:41 PM

don't know about the topic,,,,,,,, but you definately got me on TRACK

Can't keep anything on topic or on track, but that pic got me looking at stuff next to tracks......

Trapperdog · « **Reply #25 on:** July 09, 2008, 05:17:49 PM »

What tracks?

iski · « **Reply #26 on:** July 09, 2008, 05:37:35 PM »

Maybe they are next to the whipping cream??

Sean M Cary · « **Reply #27 on:** July 09, 2008, 05:58:10 PM »

Quote from: trapperdog on July 09, 2008, 05:17:49 PM

What tracks?

Reminds me of Speakers for some reason...

Trapperdog · « **Reply #28 on:** July 09, 2008, 06:55:36 PM »

Quote from: Florida Marine on July 09, 2008, 05:58:10 PM

Reminds me of Speakers for some reason...

Another decent thread goes to hell

Trapperdog · « **Reply #29 on:** July 09, 2008, 06:59:58 PM »

Back on track...Don't Ask Me How I Know This, But..... Always survey a tree for bee hives BEFORE you fell it (might hypothetically result in 82 stings)

Chief · « **Reply #30 on:** July 09, 2008, 09:30:40 PM »

OK, here's one.......

Don't fry bacon naked!!!!!!!!

HogBreath · « **Reply #31 on:** July 09, 2008, 09:37:26 PM »

Do NOT try and carry fur lined handcuffs in your carry on luggage when flying.

Chief · « **Reply #32 on:** July 09, 2008, 09:38:55 PM »

Quote from: HogBreath on July 09, 2008, 09:37:26 PM

Do NOT try and carry fur lined handcuffs in your carry on luggage when flying.

Unless...............

Twolanerider · « **Reply #33 on:** July 09, 2008, 09:45:38 PM »

Quote from: Chief on July 09, 2008, 09:30:40 PM

OK, here's one.......

Don't fry bacon naked!!!!!!!!

You can get clothed bacon?

Chief · « **Reply #34 on:** July 09, 2008, 09:51:41 PM »

Quote from: Twolanerider on July 09, 2008, 09:45:38 PM

You can get clothed bacon?

You can get bacon while wearing clothes or get clothed while wearing bacon, but I don't think I would know where to get clothed bacon.

Chief · « **Reply #35 on:** July 09, 2008, 09:53:56 PM »

Here's another one.

Not all women appreciate pictures like this.

OK, this thread could just use a little spice.

miker · « **Reply #36 on:** July 09, 2008, 10:43:52 PM »

What have I just read through the last few pages?

Someone found the whipped cream?

What the hell am I doing?

I may ignore this thread....mostly.

Hugh Janis · « **Reply #37 on:** July 09, 2008, 11:54:40 PM »

Quote from: miker on July 09, 2008, 10:43:52 PM

What have I just read through the last few pages?

Someone found the whipped cream?

What the hell am I doing?

I may ignore this thread....mostly.

Don't ask me how I know but Miker will claim to ignore this thread simultaneously while reading it.

Didn't do it but know a guy who did, if the blades on a lawn mower sound like they aren't moving, don't find out by reaching your fingers under the deck.......

hard10 · « **Reply #38 on:** July 10, 2008, 12:37:30 AM »

Quote from: Chief on July 09, 2008, 09:53:56 PM

Here's another one.

Not all women appreciate pictures like this.

OK, this thread could just use a little spice.

Like this:

Chief · « **Reply #39 on:** July 10, 2008, 08:15:24 AM »

Quote from: hard10 on July 10, 2008, 12:37:30 AM

Like this:

If I were still in college, I'd probably take that image, have it blown up and taped to the ceiling.

hard10 · « **Reply #40 on:** July 10, 2008, 08:20:45 AM »

Quote from: Chief on July 10, 2008, 08:15:24 AM

If I were still in college, I'd probably take that image, have it blown up and taped to the ceiling.

Ok, I'll bite...why?

J-Carr · « **Reply #41 on:** July 10, 2008, 08:39:21 AM »

Ok, Don't ask me how I know this... But never stand at a urinal next to a guy with a Prince Albert Peircing, unless you're real sure your boots are water proof.

Ok, Don't ask me how I know this... But never wiz in a urinal next a big ugly biker dude if you have a Prince Albert Piercing unless you're looking to get hurt.

Ride Safe,
J-Carr

P.S. Could somebody get this topic back off track with some more inappropriate photos please. AND FOR GOD SAKES... NO PRINCE ALBERT PEIRCING PHOTOS. Thanks!

iski · « **Reply #42 on:** July 10, 2008, 09:16:32 AM »

Don't ask me how I know this, but some wimmens do not enjoy girls jumping on trampolines as much as men do.

Chief · « **Reply #43 on:** July 10, 2008, 10:05:08 AM »

Quote from: hard10 on July 10, 2008, 08:20:45 AM

Ok, I'll bite...why?

......guys are just so darned complicated.

hard10 · « **Reply #44 on:** July 10, 2008, 10:19:10 AM »

Quote from: Chief on July 10, 2008, 10:05:08 AM

......guys are just so darned complicated.

You must have been talking about this:

BalDeagle · « **Reply #45 on:** July 10, 2008, 10:21:49 AM »

Quote from: Chief on July 09, 2008, 09:30:40 PM

OK, here's one.......

Don't fry bacon naked!!!!!!!!

Sausages are worse - especially if you are easily confused!

A Prince Albert always helps if further identification is needed!

Chief · « **Reply #46 on:** July 10, 2008, 10:22:13 AM »

Quote from: hard10 on July 10, 2008, 10:19:10 AM

You must have been talking about this:

Uh... yea.

hard10 · « **Reply #47 on:** July 10, 2008, 10:57:27 AM »

Quote from: Chief on July 10, 2008, 10:22:13 AM

Uh... yea.

You just wanted to see more pix in this thread like the "Friday Beer" thread:

Talon · « **Reply #48 on:** July 10, 2008, 11:19:01 AM »

harleyteam · « **Reply #49 on:** July 10, 2008, 11:19:38 AM »

Quote from: J-Carr on July 10, 2008, 08:39:21 AM

Ok, Don't ask me how I know this... But never stand at a urinal next to a guy with a Prince Albert Peircing, unless you're real sure your boots are water proof.

Ok, Don't ask me how I know this... But never wiz in a urinal next a big ugly biker dude if you have a Prince Albert Piercing unless you're looking to get hurt.

Ride Safe,
J-Carr

P.S. Could somebody get this topic back off track with some more inappropriate photos please. AND FOR GOD SAKES... NO PRINCE ALBERT PEIRCING PHOTOS. Thanks!

ok,, so I'm stupid,,,, but what the hell is a prince albert peircing?

Talon · « **Reply #50 on:** July 10, 2008, 11:20:07 AM »

Talon · « **Reply #51 on:** July 10, 2008, 11:21:51 AM »

Chief · « **Reply #52 on:** July 10, 2008, 11:26:16 AM »

Quote from: harleyteam on July 10, 2008, 11:19:38 AM

ok,, so I'm stupid,,,, but what the hell is a prince albert peircing?

Some guys will get a nose ring for the BIG head too.

J-Carr · « **Reply #53 on:** July 10, 2008, 12:00:09 PM »

Quote from: harleyteam on July 10, 2008, 11:19:38 AM

ok,, so I'm stupid,,,, but what the hell is a prince albert peircing?

Prepare to cringe...

A large gauge needle is inserted through the skin approx 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch below the hole at the end of your most sensitive appendage. The needles is pushed into the uretha and out the existing hole. Then a big metal ring is inserted through the new hole, out the existing hole and squeezed tightly shut using a pliar like tool. It is not removed at that point and ALL functions take place with it still in. It can be removed through the use of pliars before medical procedures such as an MRI which will cause it to heat to burning tempuratures.

No I don't have one. No I don't want one. No I don't understand why any would want one.

I have never understood why someone wakes up in the morning and decides "I know what I need to do today, Jam a spike through my johnson." But, I do know someone who did...

Ride Safe,
J-Carr

Special_Ed · « **Reply #54 on:** July 10, 2008, 12:06:23 PM »

Quote from: J-Carr on July 10, 2008, 12:00:09 PM

Prepare to cringe...

A large gauge needle is inserted through the skin approx 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch below the hole at the end of your most sensitive appendage. The needles is pushed into the uretha and out the existing hole. Then a big metal ring is inserted through the new hole, out the existing hole and squeezed tightly shut using a pliar like tool. It is not removed at that point and ALL functions take place with it still in. It can be removed through the use of pliars before medical procedures such as an MRI which will cause it to heat to burning tempuratures.

No I don't have one. No I don't want one. No I don't understand why any would want one.

I have never understood why someone wakes up in the morning and decides "I know what I need to do today, Jam a spike through my johnson." But, I do know someone who did...

Ride Safe,
J-Carr

Holy Crap! Why would somebody do that!!

Cystoscopy is bad enough...and don't ask me how I know.

murphy · « **Reply #55 on:** July 10, 2008, 12:33:50 PM »

Never lend your motorcyle or pee against the wind... I'd rather not talk either

!

Trapperdog · « **Reply #56 on:** July 10, 2008, 12:50:07 PM »

Quote from: J-Carr on July 10, 2008, 12:00:09 PM

Prepare to cringe...

A large gauge needle is inserted through the skin approx 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch below the hole at the end of your most sensitive appendage. The needles is pushed into the uretha and out the existing hole. Then a big metal ring is inserted through the new hole, out the existing hole and squeezed tightly shut using a pliar like tool. It is not removed at that point and ALL functions take place with it still in. It can be removed through the use of pliars before medical procedures such as an MRI which will cause it to heat to burning tempuratures.

No I don't have one. No I don't want one. No I don't understand why any would want one.

I have never understood why someone wakes up in the morning and decides "I know what I need to do today, Jam a spike through my johnson." But, I do know someone who did...

Ride Safe,
J-Carr

And you are intimately aware of this detailed procedure because?

Special_Ed · « **Reply #57 on:** July 10, 2008, 02:06:05 PM »

Quote from: trapperdog on July 10, 2008, 12:50:07 PM

And you are intimately aware of this detailed procedure because?

man don't ask him to go down that road again!

Trapperdog · « **Reply #58 on:** July 10, 2008, 05:39:39 PM »

speaking of beer...

Twolanerider · « **Reply #59 on:** July 10, 2008, 05:50:28 PM »

She can drink like that

?

Trapperdog · « **Reply #60 on:** July 10, 2008, 06:26:42 PM »

Well, I had asked the bar tender to pour me a tall stiff one and....

harleyteam · « **Reply #61 on:** July 10, 2008, 10:14:04 PM »

I like this thread

Chief · « **Reply #62 on:** July 11, 2008, 08:31:52 AM »

Quote from: harleyteam on July 10, 2008, 10:14:04 PM

I like this thread

I think I may like it better if you were to include: frontview.jpg, leftsideview.jpg, rightsideview.jpg, backview2.jpg, backview3.jpg etc.

harleyteam · « **Reply #63 on:** July 11, 2008, 11:20:28 PM »

I've got them,, but she has WAYYY less clothing on.

I think the DOOD would have a hard-attack and they'd boot me out of here.

Capo · « **Reply #64 on:** July 11, 2008, 11:48:29 PM »

Quote from: J-Carr on July 10, 2008, 12:00:09 PM

Prepare to cringe...

A large gauge needle is inserted through the skin approx 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch below the hole at the end of your most sensitive appendage. The needles is pushed into the uretha and out the existing hole. Then a big metal ring is inserted through the new hole, out the existing hole and squeezed tightly shut using a pliar like tool. It is not removed at that point and ALL functions take place with it still in. It can be removed through the use of pliars before medical procedures such as an MRI which will cause it to heat to burning tempuratures.

No I don't have one. No I don't want one. No I don't understand why any would want one.

I have never understood why someone wakes up in the morning and decides "I know what I need to do today, Jam a spike through my johnson." But, I do know someone who did...

Ride Safe,
J-Carr

WHY??? That made me very light headed and I was sitting down! For cryin out loud! Why not just slam it in a car door!?!?!?

hard10 · « **Reply #65 on:** July 11, 2008, 11:48:45 PM »

This should really go in the "Friday Beer" thread

hard10 · « **Reply #66 on:** July 11, 2008, 11:53:18 PM »

Caught ya lookin

hard10 · « **Reply #67 on:** July 11, 2008, 11:57:56 PM »

Don't Ask Me How I Know This, But..... I think this is a Corbin seat.

Fired00d · « **Reply #68 on:** July 12, 2008, 12:00:21 AM »

Quote from: hard10 on July 11, 2008, 11:57:56 PM

Don't Ask Me How I Know This, But..... I think this is a Corbin seat.

You need eyes checked. What seat?

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

Twolanerider · « **Reply #69 on:** July 12, 2008, 12:03:23 AM »

Quote from: Fired00d on July 12, 2008, 12:00:21 AM

You need eyes checked. What seat?

Ride Safe,
Fired00d

That one inspired me. Where's the Naitram thread?

J-Carr · « **Reply #70 on:** July 13, 2008, 10:28:25 AM »

Quote from: trapperdog on July 10, 2008, 12:50:07 PM

And you are intimately aware of this detailed procedure because?

As I mentioned, I know someone who has one... My wife, who is a nurse and curious about these things, asked. I had the unfortunate luck to be there when she asked. So I got to hear all about the procedure. As to how the subject came up (pun intended) we went swimming and saw he had peirced nipples. We already had seen his pierced tongue. So in a moment of jest I said what the hell else do you have pierced. One of those things you wish you could take back!

Quote from: Capo on July 11, 2008, 11:48:29 PM

WHY??? That made me very light headed and I was sitting down! For cryin out loud! Why not just slam it in a car door!?!?!?

I think it's like chrome for people who feel there "equipment" needs a bit more bling. Me... I'll pass. I'm just fine with stock!!! Of course I don't have OCD either...

Ride Safe,
J-Carr

Author Topic: Don't Ask Me How I Know This, But..... (Read 8931 times)

Sean M Cary