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[deekay]

 Subject: It Was a Dark and Stormy Night       
         
   Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe....as it happens, near Transylvania.
They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard.
Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control!
Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees
his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside,
Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.

 Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light.
He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.

 A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts,

"Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident,
and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

 
"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone.
My master is a doctor; come in, and I will get him!"


Bob brings his wife in.

An older man comes down the stairs.

"I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist..
However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training.
I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely.
Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries,
so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

 
After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried.
"Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion."
Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

 The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory,
which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace.
He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

 Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers
on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music.
Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat!
He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!

 
 Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

 He bursts in and shouts to his master:

 
"Master, Master!



The Hills are alive with the sound of music

[Invisible68]

don't quit your day job.....

[AXIL]

 

[2k]

I don't get  it, so I can't laugh.

[Envithyx]

I don't get  it, so I can't laugh.

If you were being facetious, my apologies for the following tidbit.  The punchline is play on the following, and definitely qualifies it for being very corney.

"The Sound of Music" is the title song from The Sound of Music, composed by Richard Rodgers to lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II. It was originally sung by Mary Martin in the 1959 stage musical of the same name. It was sung by Julie Andrews in the 1965 film, with a reprise by the Von Trapp family later in the film. The song introduces the character Maria, a young novice in an Austrian abbey.

The stage version of the song has a four-line vocal prelude ("My day in the hills has come to an end I know...) followed by the familiar "The hills are alive with the sound of music..." The film soundtrack and the soundtrack album have two different instrumental preludes to "The hills are alive..." both of which contain portions of the original vocal prelude. The cast album to the 1998 Broadway revival contains the four-line prelude as well as the instrumental prelude present in the film version. This version is also the same key as the film version.

(Note: Info snagged of another site, so I hope it is accurate.)

[SG Racer]

Nice. I think.

[Twolanerider]

I thought David Foster Wallace was dead?


Hey, did you hear that David Foster Wallace wrote a suicide note?  No one knew he was dead for three years though.  Took that long to get to the end....

[mrmagloo]

I want my click back!   

[Envithyx]

I want my click back!   

Finally, this thread made me laugh out loud.      Originally, I just got a kick out of the punchline.

[Ironhorse]

I liked it.

I would add to the story that upon being restored to life, the treatments they were given has left them with a case of loose bowels and soft stool.  They go to the scientist and Igor and ask "How do you solve a problem like diarria?" The scientist tells them that exercise and diet is the key and that come daylight they must "Climb every mountain" to find and eat the stem of the "Edleweiss" plant. Incredulous to this presciption they ask if that really is all they need do. The scientist tells them "I have confidence". When asked how many years he has been practicing this crude form of medicine the scientist says "Sixteen going on seventeen". As they prepare to leave the castle they bid the scientist and Igor "So long, farewell". They ask the scientist how he can live alone, on a remote mountain with only igor, his experiments and music to keep him company. The scientist explains that "These are a few of my favorite things".

I have not quit my day job.

[deekay]

Iron Horse, you aren't just good, youre bloody good, great additions to my corny joke, den

[Envithyx]

Iron Horse, you aren't just good, youre bloody good, great additions to my corny joke, den

X2