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CVO Social => Humor => Topic started by: longlast on June 27, 2018, 03:21:21 PM

Title: New oil on the market
Post by: longlast on June 27, 2018, 03:21:21 PM

DoTerra Introduces New Line Of Heavy-Duty Essential Motor Oils

PLEASANT GROVE, UT—Popular multi-level marketing and essential oils company doTerra introduced its new line of heavy-duty essential motor oils Monday, becoming the first essential oils provider in the nation to attempt to break into the lucrative essential motor oils market.

The oils will come in nearly every viscosity and density imaginable, as well as a wide range of scents and flavors to sooth and calm your passengers as the oil is pumped through your engine, circulating the delightful fumes through your car’s interior. Customers are encouraged to blend their favorite types of essential motor oils into different blends, for just the right application in different kinds of engines.

Various accessories and products associated with the motor oil line are also being rolled out, including a giant carrying case so consumers can be sure to always have the right oil at the right time and an industrial-size diffuser to help your car bask in the delightful scents of the oils while it’s parked in your garage.

“We’ve always called our oils ‘essential,’ and what oil could be more essential than the one that prevents your car from going up in a blazing inferno?” a doTerra spokesperson said Monday.  “Truly, our long-lasting, heavy-duty motor oils are the most essential of them all.”

The company’s “wellness advocates” have already been instructed to begin aggressively pitching the new products to their friends and family, with the company recommending that representatives throw “motor oil parties” in their friends’ garages in order to sell the oils. A quart of oil sells for around $399.99, according to the company’s latest catalog

Title: Re: New oil on the market
Post by: DesertHOG on June 27, 2018, 03:41:08 PM

Is it April 1st already?

Title: Re: New oil on the market
Post by: Fired00d on June 27, 2018, 03:41:35 PM

If this isn't a joke it should be. WTF!!!

 :pumpkin:
Ride Safe,
Fired00d
 :fireman:

Title: Re: New oil on the market
Post by: iski on June 27, 2018, 03:58:11 PM

Only $399 a quart?  Cheap compared to some essential oils.   ;)

Title: Re: New oil on the market
Post by: bigchuck on June 28, 2018, 11:31:05 PM

The longer a joke is the funnier it needs to be. Need I say more.

Title: Re: New oil on the market
Post by: Yellow09SERG on June 30, 2018, 09:55:02 AM

Is Harley going to be a distributor? At that price and the
story that goes with it, it would fit great in their product line. Especially if they could get it from across the pond