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Author Topic: Even bigger thud !!!!  (Read 1034 times)

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harleydave

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Even bigger thud !!!!
« on: March 01, 2011, 04:55:30 PM »

A man starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this, a huge fish jumps out and bites him.
To show who is boss he beats it to death with a spade.
Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts.
He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both.
What can he do?
Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything.
He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.
As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees.
He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?"

The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees.




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deekay

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Re: Even bigger thud !!!!
« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2011, 05:04:31 PM »

love it :pineapple: :pepper: :2vrolijk_21:
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harleydave

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Re: Even bigger thud !!!!
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2011, 05:48:45 PM »

Staple diet mate
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Hotrod50

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Re: Even bigger thud !!!!
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2011, 05:54:52 PM »

Did anyone on this side of the ocean get that joke?
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harleydave

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Re: Even bigger thud !!!!
« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2011, 06:04:23 PM »

You guys crack me up
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deekay

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Re: Even bigger thud !!!!
« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2011, 06:07:20 PM »

c'mon Dave, where in the US are you going to get fish and chips with mushy peas, they don't know what they are missing, one of our favourites is a pie floater, a meat pie in mushy peas with vinegar or tomato sauce on top, what a delicacy
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Spiderman

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Re: Even bigger thud !!!!
« Reply #6 on: March 01, 2011, 06:13:45 PM »

Know about this only too well as my Mother in Law was from Basingstoke Hants. Whenever the relatives come over from the olde countrie I have to stock up on canned peas, idaho potatoes and fresh cod. They make me laugh on their beer habits. They drink like 20 cans of Coors Light apiece per day and show absolutely no effects of it. I take them to some of the local micro breweries and they down right sotted but they drink that Coors like it's tap water.

B B
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harleydave

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Re: Even bigger thud !!!!
« Reply #7 on: March 01, 2011, 06:14:20 PM »

For the uninfishiated
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harleydave

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Re: Even bigger thud !!!!
« Reply #8 on: March 01, 2011, 06:20:27 PM »

Hey Spidey

From the old Norse; rygg - back and velte - to overturn. When a sheep is on its back and cannot get up without help, local Dales dialect says it is 'rigged' or 'riggwelted'. At the time this seemed a very apt name to choose for what is now our legendary strong Yorkshire Ale. We use chocolate malt in the brewing process to create a lovely dark chestnut and ruby coloured bgeer, which develops a wonderfully complex palate with hints of coffee and fruit leading to a classic Golding hop finish that is clean and fresh. It is a wolf in sheep's clothing and a deceptively clean drinking strong ale.

Stock up on these before they come.

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DDavidson

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Re: Even bigger thud !!!!
« Reply #9 on: March 01, 2011, 09:20:03 PM »

I didn't know they had zoos.  :coolblue:
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rydwHim

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Re: Even bigger thud !!!!
« Reply #10 on: March 01, 2011, 11:27:26 PM »

Did anyone on this side of the ocean get that joke?

I just pretended the lion said bratwurst, bbq and cheese fries.  Makes me wanna beer just thinking about it. 
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