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Author Topic: Extended Saddlebags on the old Road King !  (Read 1455 times)

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Twolanerider

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Extended Saddlebags on the old Road King !
« on: April 28, 2018, 11:44:16 PM »

Apologies for the extended story on the extended saddlebags.  But something odd happened earlier this evening that I’m still not sure I fully comprehend.  I’m not even 100% sure this is really the story of the installation of my extended saddlebags.  I think it is.  But in a very troubled way I’m just not certain right now.

The last half of the afternoon had been going so well too.  Had been doing (or at least starting on) several long put off bike tasks.  Was having a very pleasant afternoon and evening on what had been (finally) a beautiful spring day. 

Was relatively pleased with myself throughout the day as now, two months post the move, and working a two car garage that would have been swallowed by my old shop I’m at least finding enough tools to actually get a little done.  A lot still packed away but it’s functional.  So (yeah) things were getting done.

(continued, oh my)

The last thing I’d hoped to get done this evening was swap all the hardware from the original saddlebags on the Road King to a brand new set of extended bags.  Quite some time ago I dropped the bike and a huge (hairline) fracture (crack) was glaringly obvious (on the bottom of the bag) all of which (of course) necessitated replacing the bags (gave me an excuse to put the extended bags had always thought would look better).  They’d been painted for awhile and today finally took time to get them mounted.

Then as I was far enough along to be doing the fiddly adjustments for fit on the bike to one of the bikes someone who for the sake of this story I’ll call Dani (Dani) dropped by.  She’s someone who has been dropping by for close to a year now.  Enough so that she now actually does just drop by.   Unannounced.  Expecting to get fed or feed, sleep over, play with my dogs, etc.  Those of you with wives; this is what they do right?  Just come by all the time, even in your garage, and play with your dogs and other stuff? 

Sorry, I digress, this is a saddlebag story.  So this person that to protect the innocent (me!) we’ll call Dani (Dani) comes by and I puff up and say “hey, doesn’t the extended saddlebag look great on the Road King?”  Very proud of this I am.  To this she stares straight at the saddle of the FXR and responds “yes Don, it really (emphasis in original) does.”  I’m not 100% sure here; but I do believe it’s possible she didn’t have a clue and was merely patronizing me to be nice….   Just sayin’.
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Twolanerider

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Re: Extended Saddlebags on the old Road King !
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2018, 11:45:44 PM »

Dani (Dani) goes inside and, yes, plays with my dogs.  I’m fiddling with the saddlebag getting it just right (just right).  Then, suddenly, I hear something.  “DONALD!” (emphasis PROFOUNDLY in original).  I thought for just a moment that, unlike teenage Groot, Loki, Gamora and half the Avengers my mother wasn’t dead anymore and I was suddenly in deep chit.  I quickly came to the realization that it wasn’t my mother. 

Who knew Dani (Dani) had that voice within her?  It was freaking news to me.  Perhaps she’d stubbed her toe?  Perhaps (oh god I hope not) she stubbed her toe and fallen on one of the original saddlebags still in the house?  If she’d damaged a saddlebag I could understand her being upset of course.

Then I hear it again; “DONALD!”  It’s mobile too.  Coming closer.  She did not stub her toe and fall down?  The door from the kitchen pantry into the garage opens.  For some reason I’m still unsure of I had not heeded the wisdom of Doctor Who and Run Away.  Nope, just standing there.  Deer in the headlights.  “WHAT IS THIS?” I am asked by The Hulk post anger the interesting woman in my doorway?

Still being totally clueless (and innocent) I don’t put two and two together and think this must have something to do with the towel in her hand.  Even as the towel gently as if on the wings of angels (wadded and thrown as if shot at my head) makes it way toward me I’m still not fully cognizant of the fact that this is no longer about saddlebags but is instead about towels.

Backstory may be necessary.  When I moved a couple months ago Dani (Dani) gave me some (apparently) very nice towels from a place called Bed, Bath and Beware.  It had not occurred to me previous to this that towels in a household should match.  I knew some accidentally might.  That this should be an intention was new though. 

Admittedly pretty they were.  So many of my old familiar (“crappy” [her word]) towels went away.  To this day I’m not sure where.  Once they were unpacked from their various places doing double duty heroically protecting other belongings in the move I simply never saw many of them again.  I truly hope no ill came their way.  I simply do not know….  Only now did it occur to me that I should be worried for them.

(still continued)
« Last Edit: April 28, 2018, 11:50:10 PM by Twolanerider »
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Twolanerider

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Re: Extended Saddlebags on the old Road King !
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2018, 11:46:26 PM »

Back to the towel leisurely tossed (with kinetic intent); “do you see that?” I’m asked.  “The towel?  Yeah, I see it.” was (unfortunately) not the right answer.  Or at least not a complete answer.  I, apparently, have much to learn (about towels).

In the closest approximation to a Nazi goosestep that a non-political Midwestern 5’4” brunette WASP has likely ever unknowingly done she struts around the bike to pick up the towel.  Points she does and says “THIS!”  I’m beginning to clue in that there might be an issue with the towel.

“The blue Loctite?” I ask in complete (continued) innocence and lack of understanding?  “Whatever the hell that blue chit is; yes” she calmly (not so much) responds.  “Does that even come out?” I am queried?

For the briefest of moments I considered explaining that I appreciated the new towels so much that I’d honored them by using several (six) spread across the dining table to protect the new saddlebags and do bike work upon them.  I thought about this.  Then I remembered that my future crematory plans were not yet paid for.

So what have we learned?  That two spots of blue Loctite not fully blocking view and perhaps 5mm in diameter lead to preternatural “care” about household towels.  It also causes people to drive away from your home at a rate of speed above the posted limit.  Who knew?   :nixweiss:

Fortunately Loctite comes out in the laundry; or it will when I get back from Bed, Bath and Below in the morning.

So, how do the saddlebags look in comparison?
« Last Edit: April 28, 2018, 11:47:58 PM by Twolanerider »
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iski

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Re: Extended Saddlebags on the old Road King !
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2018, 01:05:13 AM »

Correct responses, if you enjoy uninvited visits from Dani especially of the over night sleep over variety are:

Yes, Dani, you are right. Yes, yes, yes you are so right.  Also multiple - I am so sorry, please forgive me, for I know not what I did, but for that I am so very sorry, and I will never ever never do it again I swear to Oprah who art in heaven.

WHATEVER you do, avoid the use of the words "towel" or "blue Loctite" for at least a year.  Or 3.  Or until a week after you are dead.
 Forever is better.  Do not expect Dani to forget.  She won't.  10 years from now, tomorrow, next week, 3 months after Armageddon.  The blue crap on the towels she gave you will be The Worst.

Variations of the above are ok, but DO NOT use the word "towel" in a sentence or a request or verbalize it in any way. BTW - your shop towels are now shop rags.  Your bathroom towels are now Multi Looped Woven Fabric Drying Devices.

Or.......

Take the other track.  Grunt like Tim Allen and make monkey noises and scratch yourself where the sun don't shine, rip a fart and say stuff like, Towels are grease rags, who cares, I don't GAS.  What the hell is your problem with some crap on some stupid towels anyway?  Not that I suggest this method, because of the thrown objects & trips to the ER.  Also, the screaming makes my ears hurt & it's hard to listen to George Jones songs over the racket.

Your Bed, Bath, & Boredom idea is a good one.  Purchase the correct amount of MLWFDDs & display them, after running them in your washing machine, to "prove" you got the Horrible Blue Stains out.  Practice looking like Opie Taylor when Aunt Bee catches him with his hand in the cookie jar.   Also, candy, flowers, wine (extra wine - good), and things that sparkle in the sun that cost 1/2 of a gobzillion $$s  -  but not as much as your extended saddle bags that look very good BTW.

Good luck.  Actually I have no idea. None.  Not a clue.  Nobody else does either.  No one understands wimmens.  No one.  Especially the poor sad men who think they understand wimmens.  Some think wimmens who like dogs can be distaracted by said dogs to the point they will temporarily forget why they did whatever they did that to men seems irrational, but it is only semi reliable.  Try to keep a dog (s) close by to see if this method works. If it does, rinse & repeat.  Or run like hell, all wimmens are crazy.  Either way.  HellifIknow.
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GregKhougaz

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Re: Extended Saddlebags on the old Road King !
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2018, 02:01:15 AM »

I feel like I just read or reread War and Peace. But yes, the bike looks fine just like that.   :huepfenlol2:
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