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Author Topic: Decoding Women's personal Ad's  (Read 993 times)

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Unbalanced

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Decoding Women's personal Ad's
« on: November 29, 2005, 11:07:48 AM »

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

      40-ish................................49.

      Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.

      Athletic...............................No breasts.

      Average looking....................Moooo.

      Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.

      Emotionally Secure................On medication.

      Feminist................................Fat.

      Free spirit............................Junkie.

      Friendship first......................Former slut.

      New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.

      Old-fashioned.......................No BJs.

      Open-minded.......................Desperate.

      Outgoing.............................Loud and Embarrassing.

      Professional..........................Bitch.

      Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.

      Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.

      Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.

      WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

      1. Yes = No

      2. No = Yes

      3. Maybe = No

      4. We need = I want

      5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry

      6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

      7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

      8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

      9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!

      10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
      about?

      MEN'S ENGLISH:

      1. I am hungry = I am hungry

      2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

      3. I am tired = I am tired

      4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

      5. I love you = Let's have sex now

      6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

      7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

      8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

      9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

      10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

      11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
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