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CVO Social => Humor => Topic started by: Threephase on August 06, 2018, 09:42:08 AM
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It had been snowing all night …………..
8:00 am I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 The transgender ma..wom...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.
8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.
8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.
9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it is going to get much worse.
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Great one and so true..
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9:35: Offended far right conservatives want the snow person built carrying a confederate battle flag to promote their southern heritage.
9:45: A conservative congressman points out that the snow is proof of there is no global warming.
9:50: A liberal scientist says the fact that there is snow on August 6 is proof there is global warming.
9:55: A senator notes that the snow is due to lake effect weather coming down through Canada. He proposes a tariff on all imported Canadian snow.
10:00: Local ski resorts claim the tariff on snow hurts their businesses.
10:10: A national leader proposes a bail out for the snow resorts hurting from the Canadian snow tariff, and pays them with money borrowed from Canada.
10:15: A veterans group says the snow person is American, and thus should be carrying an American flag.
10:20: A local police watchdog group notes that the snow person does not have feet showing, and this is interpreted as kneeling to support their cause.
10:30 Threepahse, in a moment of utter frustration plows the snow person down.
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Nicely done!
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And charged with vehicular homicide of homeless snow couple that were having to stand in the cold because they had no where else to go
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;D
That's what you get when you put a bunch of snowflakes together.
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Not that it ever snows anymore.... But if it did, that's why I'd just stand in the front yard and write my name.