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[GregKhougaz]

Holy crap, Greg!  How did you pull that off?  Nice work!   

Hi Scott,

          She's the story from #18, above.  Working on it still.  After a ten year marriage and subsequent stalker, she's not ready for a "relationship."  We get together, have a wonderful, romantic time and then later, she's afraid....  I'm practicing patience these days but when we're together... Wow!     I'm 52 and when people ask why I've never married.... she's the one I tell about.  One day at a time....  I'm pretty determined here.     Your turn!

Greg

[1abastarsmda]

Hi Scott,

          She's the story from #18, above.  Working on it still.  After a ten year marriage and subsequent stalker, she's not ready for a "relationship."  We get together, have a wonderful, romantic time and then later, she's afraid....  I'm practicing patience these days but when we're together... Wow!     I'm 52 and when people ask why I've never married.... she's the one I tell about.  One day at a time....  I'm pretty determined here.     Your turn!

Greg

Nothing wrong with taking your time.  But, as you've seen with the luck I have with the ladies, it's best that I wait for a while and find out what prize they have waiting for me at the bottom of the Cracker Jack box.  When you are sure you have a good one though, latch on.  They seem to be fewer and further in between than they used to be.

Okay, I just thought of another one.  I got fixed up on this bliind date.  This was about 10 - 11 years ago.  I walk in and the only female patron looks like Maude.  I was probably 39 or 40 years old and she was a very manly looking woman in her late 50's.  I can't remember now who it was that thought we would be a good pair, but somebody must have forgotten to take their pill.  So, anyway, she asked if I was Dave and I sat and had a drink with her.  As we are talking, I notice this sweet young waitress at the other end of the bar is looking at me everytime I looked that direction and when I looked, she smiled.  To make a long story short, that was her daughter, and the guy bartending...her son.  Oh well, that one didn't work out and I felt pretty strange knowing that her kids were sitting there watching the entire thing.

[Keats]

This was not me (I never get myself in those "1abastarsmda" moments)
But while in college my 1 room mate is attending Grad School and trying to get his masters complete.
Unfortunately he has decided that banging his Professor's (the One that has the grant money) wife could not be avoided.
She was great looking, but how the hell did he go school everyday working on this project and beat the Professer home to service his wife. I was convinced this was going to end real bad, but it eventually just ended. No one got shot and he did get his Masters.

[GregKhougaz]

... it's best that I wait for a while and find out what prize they have waiting for me at the bottom of the Cracker Jack box.  When you are sure you have a good one though, latch on.  They seem to be fewer and further in between than they used to be.

FLHTCUSE3, Oh My!!! 

1abastarsmda, well said and very true!  Your story reminds me of a "blind date."  

At least 20 years ago, I knew this guy who was a regular Joe but had a very nice but very unattractive "fiance."  For quite some time, he tried to set me up with "Susan," whom I had to assume was similar to the fiance.  He gives me the number to call and would check back from time to time and I would always have an excuse for not having called.  Finally after a couple of months he says, "Look Greg, I know my girlfriend is a dog but you've got to trust me this Susan is beautiful and nice, too."  He was not letting up....  

So, I finally call.  She was polite on the phone so I ask if she would like to go out for a bite / drink.  I offer to pick her up, trying to polite.  All the way to her door, I'm thinking, "What am I doing?  She's going to be a dog and I'll have a boring time."  I ring the bell.  She opens the door and upon seeing her, I'm thinking, "What am I doing here, she's a complete fox and what will she ever see in me?"  She had big blue eyes, big brunette hair and big .... well, you know.  She was killer and very nice.  We had a great time that night and dated for a couple of years.  To say the least, I got lots of "I told you so's."  You just never know....  

[1abastarsmda]

An old buddy from back where I grew up called me tonight.  I was telling him about this thread and he started laughing.  He went on to say, "Do you remember..."  He told me about a time back in high school that he and I were riding around and I had him drop me off at my car because of some girl walking down the street that I wanted to try to pick up.  He said I was gone for about 20 minutes and came back and said "OMG, was that scary!"  He said that I picked her up, took her someplace, started to take her clothes off, and found that she had been badly burned, and dropped her back off immediately all within about 20 minutes.  I have no recollection of this whatsoever, but he was able to tell me exactly what she looked like and where she lived, etc.  He told me it was something that I did that he would never forget.

Then, he started describing someone he ran into recently and he can't remember her name.  He went on to say that she was tall, about 5'11" and slender with dark hair.  I told him he would need to give me more than just that.  Then he said, "One of us dated her, but I can't remember which one of us."  But then I should point out that I think my buddy has fried a lot of brain cells over the years.  I can't tell you how many times he's called and told me he ran into this girl or that, and mentioned when he dated her, and I'd have to tell him that he never dated her...I did.  He always goes silent at that point and comes back with...maybe you're right.  I guess she was just around a lot since she was with you.  There are a few of my formers that he did go out with, but mostly it's just that his mind is no longer working like a Swiss timepiece.  It does make it real easy to screw with him though.

[LarryB]

Ok here goes,
Many years ago while living in Sacramento, I'm at this party with my Buddies, we knew a few people there, but our mission usually ended up in a fight with some ARMY or Navy or Marine bunch. or with anyone who wanted to throw down. It's an Air Force thing, we were taught not to pee on our hand
I'm standing on one side of the room and I look across and there is the girl sitting on a couch with other gals, and she is looking right at me. My buddies, realizing that she is "diggin' my vibe", start prodding me to "go check her out". So I take the customary drink and start my saunter over to Missy Miss . As I get closer I can see that she is very pretty and she's probably half blind and really didnt see me at all.
Next comes the " Hi I'm LB" and she says " yes I know, we road together before" . yes confused, but I forge ahead. I take a knee and we start the chit chat and I look over to my buddies and there giving me the . Little more talk and she says, I'm stayin with SHE here cuz I cant remember her real name, "would you like to take this to my place, I have an apt here too" . I said uh huh sure why not duh. She stands up I look over to the buds and and I give the  and the sign for breaking formation.
Now this is were it get's wierd.
As I'm looking over to my Buddies I hear CLOP-SLIDE, CLOP SLIDE, Im thinking WTF. I turn and Missy Miss has what looks like a leg but isn't working like one, kind of like a hard step then drag this appendage along, hence, the CLOP-Slide.
Now my Buddies are Frickin dying about now But I can't look, and decide my mission is to get to the door with her, but that's going to take some time as I here my buddies busting a gut and then I hear some other gal whisper " look at that poor girl" FT what about ME.
We get to the door and she opens it, without falling down, yea. We go into the hall and She grabs my hand and looks deep into my eyes, through the tears yes, and she says " I know you want to run away about now" I said "No, why would I want to do that", smooth, she say's " you knew my husband, you rode with him and I to RENO 2 years ago", and then I said "oh ya", man I had a grasp on this english thing, she said" we had a bad accident and he was killed and I have been in Rehab  since then till two weeks ago". WTF, Im dying here.
She said " I haven't BEEN with anyone since then and I remember my husband really liked you and Im sure he would approve". being the I am I man up and tell her that I would love to join her for a Drink, wink wink, nudge nudge, at her place.
Well let me finish by saying I woke up on the floor to the aroma of bacon and eggs, and then CLOP-SLIDE.
Kicking my clothes to the hall  and dressing and thinking, what did I do. but I did it.
the next couple years plagued me deeply, well not too deeply, but my Buddies, those bastards, we were returning from some God forsaken south American country on a 130, and one of them yells " Hey LB", and does the CLOP-SLIDE
Some call it a Mercy F#@k, some call it crazy, but, it was great. And im sure she understood.
whew!

[LarryB]

Now I have to go back to therapy

[Sean M Cary]

Now I have to go back to therapy

they let you out?

[mrmagloo]

Ok here goes,
Many years ago while living in Sacramento, I'm at this party with my Buddies, we knew a few people there, but our mission usually ended up in a fight with some ARMY or Navy or Marine bunch. or with anyone who wanted to throw down. It's an Air Force thing, we were taught not to pee on our hand
I'm standing on one side of the room and I look across and there is the girl sitting on a couch with other gals, and she is looking right at me. My buddies, realizing that she is "diggin' my vibe", start prodding me to "go check her out". So I take the customary drink and start my saunter over to Missy Miss . As I get closer I can see that she is very pretty and she's probably half blind and really didnt see me at all.
Next comes the " Hi I'm LB" and she says " yes I know, we road together before" . yes confused, but I forge ahead. I take a knee and we start the chit chat and I look over to my buddies and there giving me the . Little more talk and she says, I'm stayin with SHE here cuz I cant remember her real name, "would you like to take this to my place, I have an apt here too" . I said uh huh sure why not duh. She stands up I look over to the buds and and I give the  and the sign for breaking formation.
Now this is were it get's wierd.
As I'm looking over to my Buddies I hear CLOP-SLIDE, CLOP SLIDE, Im thinking WTF. I turn and Missy Miss has what looks like a leg but isn't working like one, kind of like a hard step then drag this appendage along, hence, the CLOP-Slide.
Now my Buddies are Frickin dying about now But I can't look, and decide my mission is to get to the door with her, but that's going to take some time as I here my buddies busting a gut and then I hear some other gal whisper " look at that poor girl" FT what about ME.
We get to the door and she opens it, without falling down, yea. We go into the hall and She grabs my hand and looks deep into my eyes, through the tears yes, and she says " I know you want to run away about now" I said "No, why would I want to do that", smooth, she say's " you knew my husband, you rode with him and I to RENO 2 years ago", and then I said "oh ya", man I had a grasp on this english thing, she said" we had a bad accident and he was killed and I have been in Rehab  since then till two weeks ago". WTF, Im dying here.
She said " I haven't BEEN with anyone since then and I remember my husband really liked you and Im sure he would approve". being the I am I man up and tell her that I would love to join her for a Drink, wink wink, nudge nudge, at her place.
Well let me finish by saying I woke up on the floor to the aroma of bacon and eggs, and then CLOP-SLIDE.
Kicking my clothes to the hall  and dressing and thinking, what did I do. but I did it.
the next couple years plagued me deeply, well not too deeply, but my Buddies, those bastards, we were returning from some God forsaken south American country on a 130, and one of them yells " Hey LB", and does the CLOP-SLIDE
Some call it a Mercy F#@k, some call it crazy, but, it was great. And im sure she understood.
whew!

I have a story similar to that. However, she was light on her feet and I had zero clue until later that night when she disrobed. Good thing I was plenty trashed at that point, as well as she. I'm sure I wasn't very PC about containing my shock, but I do remember her saying everything else still worked fine. At that point, instincts kicked in and overruled the flight urge. Too bad I don't remember much, but I do recall that experience dangling in my mind for quite some time. Just glad I never had a Danny Bonaduce experience - I'd still be struggling with that!

[RickC]

Damn, please ignore the roses and "toys" when they arrive.

Damn, Sean! That was funny!

[aushog]

After 31 great years married to the same (still hot) woman, I can't even remember dating!

Oh no, now it comes back to me, when I was a teen.  She was sweet, young, very pretty, we were in her back yard at night, laying in the grass kissing.  She said something like "you know, we can do whatever you want..."     I wanted a burger.

[1abastarsmda]

After 31 great years married to the same (still hot) woman, I can't even remember dating!

Oh no, now it comes back to me, when I was a teen.  She was sweet, young, very pretty, we were in her back yard at night, laying in the grass kissing.  She said something like "you know, we can do whatever you want..."     I wanted a burger.

  Off with your head, my good man.  Seriously, that's hilarious.  But I think it's good that you're in a long marriage, 'cause your head was off in the wrong place when you were dating.  "I wanted a burger".  Now that just kills me.

[LarryB]

Furburger

[Capo]

Here goes. October deer/bow hunting season in upstate PA. Happened to coincide with the 1980 Phillies and Royals World Series. Hunted hard all day and back at the motel we shower and head to the local gin joint. We all had bought $1 squares for the series and tonight I collect the precious game winnings for Game 1 -$25, a lot of beer money back then. Eat, drink, drink and there I am oogling the voluptuous blonde waitress. The night goes on and she gets off early and the next thing I know we're in my buddies back seat and the doors are locked and the windows are fogged with him banging on the door-suddenly he realizes what's going on from the naked feet planted on the windows for leverage and the violent rocking of the car. 20 minutes later, back to the bar and never see or hear from her again. What a deer hunt.....lost all my arrows too!

[Hugh Janis]

Best story.

You out punted your coverage on that one Greg.  I hope it works out!