Hey, Harleychef,
I won't re-hash the details of my experience, but I'll direct you to the thread where I tell about it:
http://www.cvoharley.com/smf/index.php?topic=102847.0Long story short...I lost my wife in a MC accident. It was without a doubt the most traumatic event God's ever allowed me to go thru. I was scared to death to get back in the saddle, especially with a passenger behind me. But it was the best thing for me where riding was concerned and now I've got 3,500 miles on a 4 month old new CVO, which is more miles than I've ridden in years, and I'm loving it again.
If you'll read my thread above, you'll see that a very respected counselor told me it was the best thing I could do for myself. That may or may not be true for everyone in their life's situation, but it was good advice for me.
I've always pushed myself to try and do new things. Never could understand why...but I do. But this was the biggest and scariest push I'd ever put my self thru, and I'm so glad I did it and so is my new wife.
I realize my story is different than you or your sons or your wife's, and I get that. In the end, each person must decide for themselves what is important to them and how much they can put themselves through. I feel for you, brother, and I'll be praying that the right decisions will be made and that God's hand of protection will follow you and your family.