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[WFP]

From a non-MC forum:

Irish Slalom-

Paddy the famous Irishman is driving home after downing a few at the local pub. He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road.

He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that there is yet another tree directly in his path. He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees.

Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop. The officer, approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he was doing.

Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer s tops him mid sentence and says,

"Fer Chris sakes, Paddy, that's yer air freshener!"

[WFP]

The Errand

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time
removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with
olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.

"S' cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had
done,"what was at all about?"

"Nothin', said the Irishman, "me wife just sent me out for a jar of
olives!"

[WFP]

Lost at Sea

Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a
dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the
boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp.

Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously.

To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie,
however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard
three.

Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the
entire ocean into Guinness Beer!"

The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the
entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished.

Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the
two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at
Patrick whose wish had been granted.

After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke:
"Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!