Topic: My riding mentor is gone (Read 8632 times)

porthole · « **on:** January 10, 2007, 09:47:30 PM »

Just kind of rambling here.

My dad, at age 74, lost his battle with cancer Saturday night.
A lifetime of 2-3 packs a day finally caught up with him, lung and throat cancer. Surprised he made it this long.

We have had a tenuous relationship over the last 20 years, mostly because of my mother and or other family issues and I hadn’t seen him much lately.

The one thing my Dad gave me that I love is riding, and with that thought I went to see him last Thursday, against my mother’s wishes. Just a shell of the man I knew, that cancer stuff is so devastating.

We had a good visit talked about riding – bikes. Never told him before, but when I was learning to ride the “big” street bike (Superhawk) I had dropped it while trying to turn around. The HD engine bars did their job. I think he knew anyway, after all it was his pride and joy.

I have had motorized 2 wheelers for as long as I can remember. I learned to street ride on his HD/ Honda 305 Superhawk, the same bike pictured below. All his riding buddies had Harley’s; he could never afford one though. His buddies would give him any parts they pulled off. Yes that is a bagger windshield and saddlebags, lights etc. My brothers and I all have Harleys, and quite a few of them too over the years. What he lacked we made up for.

We had a good visit, and when I left we left on good terms.

I told him I loved him and he told me he loved me, that is something we never did in the last 50 years.

2 days later the plug was pulled and 2 hours after that he was gone.

Fired00d · « **Reply #1 on:** January 10, 2007, 09:52:44 PM »

Duane,
Sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I'm glad you two had time to spend with each other and reconnect before it was to late. Sounds like he had a lasting influence on your passion for riding and because of that you will always share a special bond with him.

[smiley=pumpkin.gif]
Ride Safe,
Fired00d
[smiley=fireman.gif]

110tHunDer · « **Reply #2 on:** January 10, 2007, 10:02:11 PM »

Duane, my condolences on the loss of your father. Thanks for sharing the story of how he turned you on to our favorite pastime. My prayers are with you and your family during your time of grief.

VaEagle · « **Reply #3 on:** January 10, 2007, 10:18:39 PM »

Sorry for your loss porthole,
Our prayers will be with you and your family.

CVOMOE!! · « **Reply #4 on:** January 10, 2007, 10:23:00 PM »

My heartfelt condolences go to you and your family on your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Take care and ride safe, Moe

JR · « **Reply #5 on:** January 10, 2007, 11:52:40 PM »

Duane, I'm glad you saw your dad before he passed. I believe it was the right thing to do no matter what the circumstances were. He is a part of you and he was your dad. May God Bless your family during your time of grief.

JR

Hoist! · « **Reply #6 on:** January 11, 2007, 12:38:40 AM »

Duane, Sorry for your loss. At least you got to make peace and say good-bye. Hoist

SEULTRA · « **Reply #7 on:** January 11, 2007, 12:39:31 AM »

Your post made me smile... reconciliation at any time is better than none at all. You did share something with your Dad even though you weren't close for some time. I lost my Dad some years back and miss him terribly. He was from a culture where men did not say they loved each other. I told him I loved him but he could never say it to me. It's OK though, I saw it in his eyes and have no doubt he loved me. Sorry for your loss. Ride in your Dads memory. I'll bet he would like that. [smiley=xyxthumbs.gif]

RJ749 · « **Reply #8 on:** January 11, 2007, 02:20:45 AM »

It is unfortunate that another thing many of us have in common here is we have lost our dads.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dad. I am glad you were able to see him. Too many of my friends either couldn't or wouldn't see a loved one that is gone. You could never make that up.

You can never replace the memories of the early days of learning to ride and sharing the road.

ccr · « **Reply #9 on:** January 11, 2007, 02:34:38 AM »

My very dear friend Duane; My heart goes out to you right now and I send up prayers that you can find some peace to help you throught these very hard times. I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Jamey lost his Dad to cancer in 1996 and I lost my Mom to cancer in 2002. We both still struggle with those losses, so I am not an expert on how to come to grips with the fact that no matter what the relationship you may or may not have with your family, once they are gone, they are forever gone. I am so happy to see/hear that your love of riding is born in the passion your Dad had and passed on to you and your brothers.

All our love and peace. Jamey and Candy.

cuthbertss · « **Reply #10 on:** January 11, 2007, 07:10:55 AM »

Duane

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your father... and I understand the pain that goes with it...every day i think about my dad.. i lost him in March... and i miss him terribly.

my thoughts are with you my brother

pumkinownerswife · « **Reply #11 on:** January 11, 2007, 07:43:44 AM »

Duane, I am sorry for the loss of your Father , I don't have much advice on how to deal with it or overcome this loss but I do know time will make a difference in how it feels. And it sound like you both enjoyed your last visit that will be a good memory maybe help with some of the bad.

Take Care and Know You are in my Thoughts and Prayers,

Helen

Chief · « **Reply #12 on:** January 11, 2007, 07:56:11 AM »

Duane,

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your father. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family in this tough time.

At a loss for words,

Chief

Tbone · « **Reply #13 on:** January 11, 2007, 08:31:00 AM »

Duane,
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I'm glad the two of you were able to be together for the last time and depart on good terms. As the years pass and you remember your father, your last visit with him will be a pleasant memory and one you will cherish.
Our prayers go out to you and your family,
Bob

erniezap · « **Reply #14 on:** January 11, 2007, 09:10:03 AM »

Duane,

I'm sorry for your loss

The Bolvine Gigolo! · « **Reply #15 on:** January 11, 2007, 11:27:26 AM »

Duane,
So sorry to hear about your Dad, It's very hard losing your parents. Atleast you got to say good bye, it does help just alittle.

Don

d o g o l s · « **Reply #16 on:** January 11, 2007, 11:27:33 AM »

Duane

my condolences on the loss of your father

Henry

naitram · « **Reply #17 on:** January 11, 2007, 11:50:28 AM »

sorry for your loss Duane,

hd-dude · « **Reply #18 on:** January 11, 2007, 01:05:46 PM »

Duane;
Sorry for your loss, Its a terrible thing.

My condolences to you and your family.

TheVgirl · « **Reply #19 on:** January 11, 2007, 01:15:18 PM »

Duane, I'm so sorry! I know your dad was smiling inside when you told him about dropping his bike. He was probably thinking of all the other things he already knew about that you hadn't told him about either, and was proud that his son, making confession, had turned out to be such an admirable man with great character and strength! My prayers are you with you and your family.

V

Midnight Rider · « **Reply #20 on:** January 11, 2007, 01:50:37 PM »

Sorry to hear of your father passing away, Duane, and hope you are at peace....

Special_Ed · « **Reply #21 on:** January 11, 2007, 01:55:16 PM »

Duane,
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, it is a hard thing to lose a parent. I am happy for you that you were able to tell him how you felt and hear how he felt about you before he passed. My father will be gone a year Monday the 15th, we’re having a mass for him tomorrow, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers

Take care,
Ed

harleydiva · « **Reply #22 on:** January 11, 2007, 01:56:33 PM »

Duane, so sorry to hear of your loss. My father also lost his battle with cancer after smoking 2-3 packs a day all of his life.

Cherish the fact that you got to visit with him about something that was a common bond and made peace ... that is something that you will carry with you always.

Suzanne

Bagger · « **Reply #23 on:** January 11, 2007, 09:59:46 PM »

Duane,
Man I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. It is heartwarming to know that he left this earth on good terms with you, and I know that makes you feel good. I certainly wish I could have been so fortunate with my mother. Her death was so sudden. It was through her death that my father and I were able to reconnect. As much as I miss my Mom, and as chitty as I feel for not being able to reconnect with her before she passed, I am thankful I was able to get right with Dad.
You and your family are in our thoughts.

Henry

CVOJOE · « **Reply #24 on:** January 12, 2007, 01:23:02 AM »

Duane,
Sorry about losing your Dad, I lost mine two years ago in almost the same way. Best to remember him during the best times, than the way he was at the end.
He's in a far better place, and you can keep the memories burning.

Joe

Gettinold · « **Reply #25 on:** January 12, 2007, 05:29:12 AM »

DUANE, SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES WITH HIM!
DAVE

P.S. THE NEXT TIME YOU GO TO MAGGIE VALLEY GO TO CAMP GREENVILLE AND ........ WELL YOU WILL SEE WHY.

mr_magoo · « **Reply #26 on:** January 12, 2007, 09:17:02 AM »

Duane sorry for your loss I know what you are giong thru. I lost my dad in May of last year after a 3 year battle with cancer. It wasn't easy and think of him often. Keep him in your thought and he will never be alone.

HUBBARD · « **Reply #27 on:** January 12, 2007, 04:13:56 PM »

Duane,
Sorry, Man. I wasn't "estranged", per say, from my Father, but I sure did cause him a lot of grief and embarrassment, on my quest to make a reputation for myself, or whatever the hell it was, I was doing. What a fool I was. I agree with everyone here. You were fortunate enough to mend the fence, before your Father passed. I had to make my peace with my Father, at his grave. I hope I did, anyway. You never really know, that way though, ya' know? Think of the good. Forget the rest. Later--HUBBARD

Eqcons · « **Reply #28 on:** January 13, 2007, 08:58:08 AM »

Sorry to hear of your loss, Porthole. Lost both my parent that way too, so I know how you are feeling. Just remember the good times, and as long as he's in your memory, he'll still be around.

Jim

Jock · « **Reply #29 on:** January 13, 2007, 09:22:31 AM »

The memories you have of your father will take you into another place of your life. You were blessed to have the time that you did with him and those memories will last a lifetime. All the Best during this time.

BANDANAGIRL · « **Reply #30 on:** January 13, 2007, 09:30:39 AM »

Duane,
So very sorry to hear about your loss !

Soozie !

porthole · « **Reply #31 on:** January 14, 2007, 10:04:55 PM »

Hello all,

I can't tell you how much I appreciate the comments left by everyone here. I have read them all several times, makes me feel better about biting the bullet and swallowing some pride when it was most important to do so.

The good memories are few and far between, but they are good just the same. And if anyone reading this is in a similar situation I would suggest that you too bite the bullet and make the effort before it is too late.

You will have the warm fuzzy feeling of knowing you did the right thing and you will have the support of the terrific group of people known as "CVOHarley.com".

Thank you again and lets hope for a short winter.

hdnut · « **Reply #32 on:** January 15, 2007, 08:56:13 PM »

Sorry to hear about your loss.The world that we know it ,just does not seem to be the same when we lose something we love!Take care.

Robmay · « **Reply #33 on:** January 16, 2007, 05:26:30 PM »

Duane,

So sorry to hear about the passing of your father. It is so fortunate that the two of you were able to make amends so to speak before he passed on. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Cerdo · « **Reply #34 on:** January 16, 2007, 08:41:56 PM »

Duane, glad you got to see your dad, it was the best thing to do. Parting on good terms is awesome. God bless, ride safe in his memory. Andy

rubaga · « **Reply #35 on:** January 20, 2007, 09:56:07 AM »

Sorry to hear about your loss. It was really good that you went and saw him. My condolences to you and your family.

ESJ JESTER · « **Reply #36 on:** January 20, 2007, 10:10:26 AM »

Duane, sorry for your loss, a very good thing making peace that was. God belss
gene

ultrafxr · « **Reply #37 on:** January 20, 2007, 11:48:14 AM »

Duane, sorry to hear of your loss.

Garznhogs · « **Reply #38 on:** January 20, 2007, 10:44:12 PM »

Duane, you may never know how much you eased your dad's heart in his last hours.
God bless,
Jerry

theslash · « **Reply #39 on:** June 08, 2007, 05:24:35 AM »

you will ride with him again

Smiler · « **Reply #40 on:** June 08, 2007, 05:39:30 AM »

Porthole - sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family

Author Topic: My riding mentor is gone (Read 8632 times)

harleydiva

Bagger