I was married to Gerri for almost 22 years. We couldn't have kids, but we did have each other. We kept finding ways to re-invent our marriage, but the biggest boost to our marriage was when we started riding together.
I've owned a lot of bikes over the years, but then like many guys, I drifted away from the sport after marrying and starting a career. Then one day I had a chance to buy a mint condition CB750 with a Windjammer fairing (I loved Windjammers when I was a kid!). I talked it over with her and I told her I just had to see if I still had it in me. Long story short...I did. And she fell in love with it, too. Just a few years later, we bought our first Harley, a 2007 Electra Glide Ultra Classic. I swear that girl loved that bike more than I did. Heck, she was responsible for most of the chrome on it, joking that it was her favorite color. We put almost 40k miles on that bike across 11 states over the next few years.
Then Gerri's stepdad died in early 2010 from a bad illness. It was shortly after that she told me she didn't want to die from some sickness in a hospital bed somewhere. She said and I quote "I want to go out in a blaze of glory on that bike when it's my time". Less than 6 months later, the Lord took Gerri home, exactly the way she had asked.
We were coming back home from a Hog Rally in Hot Springs, Arkansas when we hit a deer. There was no rhyme or reason for it. It was on August 1st around noon, and it was already almost 100 degrees out. Any deer in his/her right mind would be bedded down till evening, but not this one.
The trees were close to the road there...within 10 feet or so. I never saw the deer and I can't remember the accident to this day. The two couples that were behind us told me later that the deer leaped out from the woods to land directly in front of me and as soon as she landed, I hit her broadside. I couldn't have been doing more than 50 or so, because we were coming out of a turn.
They airlifted Gerri to Little Rock and while I was waiting on my helicopter to take me there as well, they returned. She had arrested in flight and they could not save her. They think she ruptured a spleen or some other internal organ and bled out internally. She just went to sleep.
My last words to her as they took her from our ambulance were "I love you and I'll see you soon!" At least we shared a final "I love you". I didn't have to watch her life slip away from her, and she didn't have to watch me suffer as I tried to heal afterwards. My new wife had to watch her strong husband wither and die from a horrible cancer and its complications. She had it worse than I did, in the end.
Everyone at the accident site thought I would be the one to die and not her. I had 5 broken bones, was spurting blood from a hole in my cheek, and had numerous cuts and deep abrasions in addition to losing my front teeth and shearing off the end of my left elbow. I spent 4 months in rehab after that. My left hip hurts every day and my left elbow hurts when I ride, but to heck with that. Riding's where it's at for me.
I've learned to live with it over time believing it was God's timing and He needed her to come on Home. There's no use arguing with Him or hating Him. When it's your time, well...you know the drill. The anger and hatred serves no purpose, but you go through it. Death is a matter of perspective in many ways. It can conquer you and ruin you if you want it to, or it can strengthen you if you'll reach out and take His hand. He helped me through the worst time of my life and I knew he would do exactly that. I had a Christian counselor that told me I needed to get back in the saddle as soon as I could. Told me that Gerri would be so sad to think I had given up my second greatest love because of that accident. Told me it would help me heal and strengthen and grow. And she was right. I'm still scared at times, especially when I see a deer out in front of me or I ride through dense forests, but I'm still riding, and in the end, that's what counts.
This August 1st will be the 5th anniversary of me losing Gerri, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her, but most especially when I'm on the bike. My new wife now of almost two years lost her husband to cancer. We met at church and dated for over a year before tying the knot. She loves to ride also (her late husband owned a Heritage). She's got more Harley apparel and jewelry than the MOCO, and she and the Good Lord has helped me to heal. I'm blessed again!
The pain never goes away, but time makes it less shocking and severe. I was lucky and blessed to have such a great wife and backseater as Gerri. I still love you, girl. Thanks for riding with me.
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Topic: Thoughts on losing a wife...Gerri's story. (Read 5819 times)