Thanks guys,
Yah, in one of those rough spots. I've found on chemo there is a spiral that falls an spins at a rate that I have little to no control over. Way back at the beginning of the exit ramp from all that was normal in my life, I struggled with the difference between depression and that that is depressing. My main focus at that time was the meds that were offered me as a solution to a problem. But, it seemed more important to me to know the cause first then if any the meds would treat the cause by name. In the end, the lable on the bottle of meds prescribed to me also stated, "take X for depression". So that end and my answer from the Docs simply was , "If cancer is depressing, you have depression." Or in other words, "It doesen't mater, just take these pills."
My problem still is as simple as it was then. The chemo downward spiral to the depressing place or depression is just that, (a downward spiral). It takes about 9 or 10 days to get there. It then stays or lasts in it's deepest and darkest place for 2 to 3 days then spirals back upward a bit each of the 9 or 10 days in small but equal amounts in an oppisite direction much like the downward spiral did after the chemo treatment. This is a cycle, a temparary revolving place, not a fixture or permanate in nature. All the pills were those that required a daily dose for 6 to 8 weeks before I would feel or notice any change. Haven't they been listening? I tire trying to explain the spiral factor that brings about the sadness or depressing thought or depression is, just about the time I am nearing the tail end of the upward spiral and what I could only then call normal during a regime of chemo treatment, well it's time to start all over again. Right now I have finally made it through the deepest darkest and am on my way back to normal, well, chemo normal that is. Well anyway, at that point I really don't want to be all droaned out on anti-depression meds, I want to enjoy being me for that short time at least. During my two regimes of chemo, I've had 26 days of chemo hooked up to me. That's 10 months of chemo out of the 14 months since chemo started. Just saying!
I have been very much sicker each chemo cycle for the last 3. The sickness has come sooner and with more vigor. Infection has been more amongst the mix of sick and a hospital stay last cycle. I seems that being admited to the hospital may become more the rule than the exception. All along every 3 months or so, throw in a ct-scan. On this cycle of such a ct-scan it read proorly enough to have a PET scan ordered for a better look see on Feb 28 at the New Haven, Conn VA Hospital. During this cycle I've also been given oxygen at home that needs to be set at 3 liters. I am also scheduled for my next 3 day cycle of chemo on March 7,8 & 9. Other than that I've got rings on my fingers and bells on my toes.
Can I go for a ride yet? LOL
yout friend chappy/Sam
Author
Topic: I might be down, but I'm not out! (Read 249546 times)