I think you need to find a new dealer that values your business and will work with you. Or you might be happy with a bone stock bike. Or don't buy an extended Warranty, wait a little while before making changes and do what you want to the bike. Eventually Warranties expire and you're on your own. Then you can do what you want since you're assuming full responsibility anyway. I have an '85 Wide Glide and a home-built Custom. There's no warranty. My '03's Warranty is expired and I didn't have one claim on it anyway. Anything happens, I'm on my own. We spend so much money on performance, chrome, OCD, etc. that if something breaks, you fix it. Personally, I'd find a new dealer who'll work with you and develop a relationship with. This dealer sounds like a d**k. "You pay your money and you take your chances". Me, "I just want to be free to ride my machine, and not be hassled by the man..."!
Hoist!