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Author Topic: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE!  (Read 9718 times)

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Screamin

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #15 on: August 29, 2006, 09:40:09 PM »

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?



A doberman.

I just kill me.  [smiley=huepfenlol2.gif] [smiley=huepfenlol2.gif]

Point taken CLK.
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HUBBARD

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #16 on: August 29, 2006, 10:07:04 PM »

Quote
Gang, I am ALL ABOUT and ALL OVER "voicing concerns" and "working together" to make productive solutions to REAL problems, and as a Trial attorney, I would be HAPPY to help in resolving those REAL and legitimate issues like paint problems and headset inputs scratching lids, etc.
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MJZ

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #17 on: August 29, 2006, 10:38:29 PM »

Quote
Gang, I am ALL ABOUT and ALL OVER "voicing concerns" and "working together" to make productive solutions to REAL problems, and as a Trial attorney, I would be HAPPY to help in resolving those REAL and legitimate issues like paint problems and headset inputs scratching lids, etc.
« Last Edit: August 29, 2006, 10:41:05 PM by MJZ »
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MJZ

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #18 on: August 29, 2006, 10:48:09 PM »

Oh, forgot to post mine:

What do attorneys use for birth control?
 
Their personalities
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Fatboy

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #19 on: August 29, 2006, 11:01:27 PM »

 

Lawyer's personal injury
A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.

"I'm an attorney," the wincing man said, "and this is going to cost you $5000."

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," the concerned golfer replied. "But I did yell 'fore'."

"I'll take it," the attorney said.

 [smiley=banana.gif] ;D [smiley=jalapeno.gif]

PS: For the record I have several Attorney's in my family and they send me the best Lawyer jokes out there. Sooo this isn't really fair since I've stored enough material for about 100 posts.

Fatboy

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #20 on: August 29, 2006, 11:09:14 PM »



Free haircuts
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "you do God?s work." The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.

A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to pay, saying, "you protect the public." The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.

A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, "you serve the justice system." The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.

 ;D

SPIDERMAN

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #21 on: August 29, 2006, 11:31:59 PM »

Quote
Oh, forgot to post mine:

What do attorneys use for birth control?
 
Their personalities

Hey be nice, website rules, nothing personal.

psssssssss- - - - - - - Kelly's still hopin for kids of his own.
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Fatboy

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #22 on: August 29, 2006, 11:39:23 PM »

Quote

Hey be nice, website rules, nothing personal.

psssssssss- - - - - - - Kelly's still hopin for kids of his own.
----------------------------------------------------
Big B,

 You may never get to be a moderator at this pace.......... :'(

Fatboy  ;)

cuthbertss

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #23 on: August 29, 2006, 11:40:20 PM »

CLK
You do know how to attract attention! Im glad you have a thick skin and can take it as well as give it!

welcome and enjoy the new ride
« Last Edit: August 29, 2006, 11:50:51 PM by cuthbertss »
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SPIDERMAN

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #24 on: August 29, 2006, 11:50:58 PM »

Quote
----------------------------------------------------
Big B,

 You may never get to be a moderator at this pace.......... :'(

Fatboy
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Twolanerider

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #25 on: August 30, 2006, 12:50:17 AM »

Quote

[size=16]And that's a bad thing ? [/size]


notsomuch  ;D [smiley=banana.gif] [smiley=drink.gif] [smiley=jalapeno.gif] ;D
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CLKKELLEY

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #26 on: August 30, 2006, 08:13:52 AM »

REALLY was NOT trying to attract attention or stir the pot like I apparently have!!  [smiley=nixweiss.gif]JUST rant a little!  I would personally like to thank my freind FATBOY for hijacking this thread, and sending it in a more humorous direction!  

As my High School speech teacher used to tell us, if your speech or position offends someone, then they normally resemble your remarks!!  :)  As I said, I am off of my soapbox, and apologize if I offended anyone!   [smiley=soapbox.gif]
  
AND, I already CUT AND PASTED some of these jokes this AM, and sent them on to my EMAIL riding list along with our ride info for Friday afternoon.  GOOD stuff!!  

Make it a GREAT Wednesday!
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BLM777

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #27 on: August 30, 2006, 08:23:10 AM »

Craig...Your good humor is greatly appreciated....
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RJ749

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #28 on: August 30, 2006, 09:06:30 AM »

Nothing wrong with a good rant................or joke [smiley=xyxthumbs.gif]

A stingy old attorney, who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.

He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillow cases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan was that when he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.

Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased attorney's wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash.

"Oh, that darned old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."

From an attorney joke site http://cc.msnscache.com/cache.aspx?q=3911548946075&lang=en-US&mkt=en-US&FORM=CVRE  
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BobD

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Re: RANTS, B!TCHES AND WHINING - TAKE IT ELSEWHERE
« Reply #29 on: August 30, 2006, 12:56:17 PM »

Quote
REALLY was NOT trying to attract attention or stir the pot like I apparently have!!
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We will be remembered for all the rules we break.
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