We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party.
We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on,
covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived
and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we had put out
in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in
the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the
cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the
cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty
for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out
soon, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long,"
I said, as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed.
I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She
tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her
in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked!
I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car.