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Author Topic: Thinking about starting a new life  (Read 4132 times)

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AZSSE

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Thinking about starting a new life
« on: July 16, 2009, 07:42:47 PM »

Yesterday, after a long and painful struggle, my wife and I lost the battle against Ovarian cancer. For a while we thought we had it beat but eventually it just wouldn't retreat.A year of tears ended in what actually seemed like relief. Actually what probably seems like a soul-wrenching plea of self pity is not, it is a search for reccomendations on how to spend the rest of my life. I now have a  07 FXSTSSE that I love.  I have an 07 Chevy Avalanche that I love. The truck and the bike are paid off. I think what I want to do is sell my house, make about a 150,000 profit, buy a 2 bike trailer with living quarters, and either get a 09 Road Glide CVO, or  09 Ultra Classic CVO, and just spend the rest of my life on the road with the trailer.. I also have a fixed income of about 5000/month, so no money problems. What do you think??? I know there's some hidden problems, but I can always revise my plan. I just turned 63, and I'm in good health. Thanks for your suggestions.

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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2009, 07:48:17 PM »

I am very sorry for the loss of your wife... My sincerest condolences....

I think maybe you should let a bit of time pass before making to many decisions about anything, especially selling your house....

God Bless...
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2009, 08:01:10 PM »

It's not the same.  Please understand that I don't presume at all to suggest a parent is going to have the same impact as your life's partner.  But after my dad finished taking about a dozen years to finally pass I took a couple years of what might be described as very light duty.  Spent a lot of that time on the bike.

Hadn't ridden that much and that constantly since a bit of time spent on the outside looking in when I was a much younger man.  Following the time away after my dad died life was ready for me again and I for it.  I didn't sell the house.  Still needed the base of operations.  But if I'd been in the same frame of mind, 20 years later then it was, financially and physically able, I'd readily throw a leg over and keep riding until I couldn't anymore.

Godspeed sir.  Tailwinds and clear roads.  You've earned whatever your choice happens to be.
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2009, 08:08:31 PM »

Sorry for your loss Azsse.

I agree with sadunbar, you should give it some time before making a big decision and allow yourself to go through the various stages of grieving.
If it was me I would get the bike of your dreams and use your home as a base that would allow you to do practical things like receive mail(tax records,insurance, etc.) It would give you a place to put your feet up and rest after a road trip.
You could go to various CVO get togethers and meet the members face to face  as well as some great scenery.
You could also get involved in get togethers with your Chevy Avalanche, there is a great site of Avalanche owners , as of today they have 37,647 members :   http://www.chevyavalanchefanclub.com/cafcna/index.php

I hope you have many years of great health but you should plan for older age by keeping in touch with children and grandkids if you have any.
I also believe you should try to enjoy life and your mobility while you can and live life as a good person so you can be proud of your actions and not have regrets such as "Wish I had done this!"
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2009, 08:29:19 PM »

AZSE,
Sorry for your loss. I'll third what sadunbar and vaeagle are saying. Take some time, grieve, talk to friends/family then make the decision such as you're contemplating. May God bless you, keep you, and give you guidance during this time.

 :pumpkin:
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2009, 08:37:09 PM »

We are behind whatever you decide.  Hang in there!
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #6 on: July 16, 2009, 08:42:44 PM »

Very sorry for your loss, But have to disagree with the others, If it were me i would sell the house and hit the road and do what you are talking about, But i have Rambling Fever In my Blood anyway. Whatever your decided My God Be with You.  :2vrolijk_21: :2vrolijk_21:
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AZSSE

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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #7 on: July 16, 2009, 08:48:57 PM »

There seem to be a lot of value in all your responses. I'm going to get the funeral and all of the paperwork taken care of, then I'll try to make a decision that gives everyone a voice. Right now the emotions are so raw, I can't even quit asking her if my answers sound ok when I type something. Goodnight, and thanks to everyone.
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #8 on: July 16, 2009, 09:02:50 PM »

Azsse - My condolences on your tremendous loss! I can't imagine the grief you feel. I have been married for 27 years and can't imagine losing my one and only. Give yourself some time to process the loss and then do what you feel led to do. I could see 20-30,000 miles on a bike as a very therapeutic way to grieve the loss of a life partner. You've earned some time for yourself. Take it and remember, your wife will be with you wherever you ride.

May God bless you and provide you the strength to make it through this trying time!
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FUZZNUTS

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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #9 on: July 16, 2009, 09:08:03 PM »

Sorry to hear that your wife has passed. Take that trip that you want, give the house a six month stay. When you return you might think a little different. Life on the road is exciting at first. But after a while it's gets to be a drag. I agree with Twolane, it's always nice to have a home base of operations. Good luck.............................................Fuzz
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cremebrulee

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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #10 on: July 16, 2009, 09:40:02 PM »

My sympathy to you on the loss of your love.
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HarleyRider2004

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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #11 on: July 16, 2009, 11:10:49 PM »

So sorry for your loss.

I will echo what some others have said.  Take some time to make sure selling the house is what you want.  It sounds like income is not going to be a problem for you so take a few months to just clear your mind. I have paid out some large life insurance claims to only see people spend the money On things that they thought they wanted or needed and regret it later.  This is not the exact same but peoples emotions can make them make some decissions they might not otherwise make.  After losing your wife you need to give your self some time. Take a trip. Maybe even rent a trailer and see how you like it first.   

God bless you and your wife. 
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2009, 01:46:10 AM »

Sorry to hear about your loss.

You want my advice......

Take NO drastic action for at least ONE YEAR.

1. Keep the house. You will ALWAYS need a place to live, so why not the one you have?
2. Buy a good used SE Ultra with existing warranty. One that already has ALL the doo-dads you could ever want.
3. Get a GPS and map out a route to every place you ever wanted to see.
4. When you ride there, post it so we can meet you and hang with you a while. I will buy the first pitcher of beer in LA.
5. Get a trailer. An Avalance with a trailer is MUCH easier to deal with on the road than a mobile home.
6. Most importantly stay close with God, Family and Friends.

God Bless.

Mark

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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #13 on: July 17, 2009, 03:20:22 AM »

Sorry to hear about your loss.

You want my advice......

Take NO drastic action for at least ONE YEAR.

1. Keep the house. You will ALWAYS need a place to live, so why not the one you have?
2. Buy a good used SE Ultra with existing warranty. One that already has ALL the doo-dads you could ever want.
3. Get a GPS and map out a route to every place you ever wanted to see.
4. When you ride there, post it so we can meet you and hang with you a while. I will buy the first pitcher of beer in LA.
5. Get a trailer. An Avalance with a trailer is MUCH easier to deal with on the road than a mobile home.
6. Most importantly stay close with God, Family and Friends.

God Bless.

Mark



I could have not said it any better. I will buy the second pitcher when you make it to the east coast.

Be Safe

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LarryB

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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #14 on: July 17, 2009, 07:35:37 AM »

pain sux, we ask ourselfs, why? and the pain we feel during it is on us even thought the pain our loved ones endured is gone. But we as humans need to grieve. there is no correct answer for your question, it's a personal  thing.
I'm with Fuzz on this, Road TRip, and then see how it goes,
But do all things in Honor of your wife. I feel your loss, hang in there.
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #15 on: July 17, 2009, 08:25:53 AM »

I am truly sorry.

What I would do doesn't matter, it's what you have to do to be right.
No big decisions for 1 year is the best advise one could give, so I will second it.

Advise...... that would be hard to give as well but you did ask and I will give it a shot.

Keep the house..... financially you can afford it.

Go ahead and get the trailer you spoke of and take off and Ride......Ride some more......Get it out of your system.

Go places you want to go and hang around for a while, then move to the next.

If you can do this for a period of time, go back home and make the decisions that suite your new life.

Do not put yourself in a financial situation that burdens the rest of your life.

Good luck to you and keep us posted.....there are probably more people here behind you then you think.

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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #16 on: July 17, 2009, 11:41:56 AM »

I also offer my sincerest condolences. It's got to be tough...

That said, I too would recommend holding off on any rash decisions. The one thing that you have to consider is, even though we'd seen a bit of a bump on home values, they will come back up and over the long run always appreciate for the most part. However, trailers, campers, toyhaulers all depreciate rather rapidly.  A $70K trailer new will be worth 1/2 that in 5 years, where the 150K in equity now in the house, at the bottom of the recession, could double in value during that same 5 years.  $35K at age 68 vs $300K?  Seems to be a no brainer.

Imho, give careful consideration over keeping the house and getting a small trailer that will just suit your needs. If you can find something a couple of years old reasonable, you won't take the hit the first owner did. If you like it, you can always upgrade later.
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #17 on: July 17, 2009, 12:09:39 PM »

       Very sorry for your loss, Azsse. 

       I echo all the comments above and only add to consider renting the house out rather than sell.  It's not a great time to sell in most areas and it gives you more options down the road, not to mention some additional rental income and tax benefits....  Good luck with your new life! 

GK
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #18 on: July 17, 2009, 12:31:04 PM »

I'll weigh in, and it's pretty similar to what others have said.  Don't make any life-changing decisions right away; you've already just gone through one such situation.  If after you've spent some time on the road you find you like it, I would look for a place where I could be away without having any worries about it, no grass to mow, won't be a bunch of squatters living it when you come back, someplace you can just lock the door and go.  You may find it in one of the places you visit.  Time does ease the pain.  Keep busy and don't isolate yourself.
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #19 on: July 17, 2009, 12:52:37 PM »

My deepest condolences on your loss, I can't begin to imagine what you've been going thru.

In jest I've told my kids (last one is 18 in a month) if anything ever happens to your mother, I'm selling everything, moving to St John and buying a place on the beach.  I'll pick up a scoot there and sip Mojitos in a chair on the beach, bring the Grandkids down to visit once in a while if you would.  While I do say it in jest, it might just not be far from the truth.

Honestly, if this is something you've been thinking about over the past year, you've likely taken in all the considerations and are just ready to do it.  While waiting might be a wise decision, we don't always gain the most joy from the wisest of decisions.

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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #20 on: July 17, 2009, 02:03:55 PM »

Very sorry for your loss. I agree with some of the others, let a little time pass before you make any definite decisions.
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #21 on: July 17, 2009, 04:36:42 PM »

Azsse,

I'm glad to hear your wife is no longer suffering.  That must have lifted a huge burden from your shoulders.  Since the Arizona housing market is horrendous, I'll echo what others are saying- keep the house currently.  You can still travel and watch the housing market to see when it's right to sell.  I don't think we've seen the bottom yet, but eventually it will start to climb.  As far as the trailer- GO FOR IT!  I recently purchased a coach and trailer to pull the bikes in.  We are already traveling to see the better areas of the country without having to ride there to do it.  Sometimes I miss the riding there, but it's REALLY nice having "home" right in the middle of great riding areas.  You should be able to find some great buys on a toythauler that your Avalanche will pull quite nicely.  Look for a convertible- where the main bed is above the bike.  It will make for a smaller trailer, which is easier to pull.  Your wife will enjoy the traveling, as I'm sure she will be your guardian.

If you want any "rving" advice, send me a pm and we can chat about that end of things.  I looked at the toyhaulers for quite a while, before buying the coach.

See ya on the road!
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #22 on: July 17, 2009, 05:31:51 PM »

I am so so sorry for your lose. I could feel the pain in your word written. Please take time to grieve. Everything after that will fall in persecutive. One does not know what to really say until they live and go through the same situation. I will hold you in my prayers......Jeff
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #23 on: July 17, 2009, 07:21:09 PM »

Azsse - third picture of beer is on me (at my NY location).
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #24 on: July 17, 2009, 07:41:11 PM »

Azzse - I also am Very Sorry for your loss.  There already has been alot of suggestions from the heart given here to you and all of them are very good- I would echo most of what has been said and would only want to add no matter what choice or choices you make stay connected as you are doing right now. 

There are alot of support groups and people out there that have meetings, blogs and chat rooms that can be a part of your journey, just as I hope we are no matter where your travels lead. 

If you want to head North for a while, I have a condo that you are welcome to stay in anytime. :2vrolijk_21:

Our Thoughts and Prayers are with you, Tracy
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #25 on: June 28, 2018, 10:47:45 PM »

I often wonder how this turned out. Hope he found peace.
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Re: Thinking about starting a new life
« Reply #26 on: June 28, 2018, 11:24:02 PM »

This may be an old thread but unfortunately it is relevant to far to many people every day. I hope he is doing well and helping others.
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