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Author Topic: Human Resources Directive  (Read 1638 times)

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Midnight Rider

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Human Resources Directive
« on: May 23, 2006, 02:31:37 PM »

  Dear Employees:

  It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers.



  Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do
however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately
express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
  <

  Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have
been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner.



  1) TRY SAYING:
  I think you could use more training.
  INSTEAD OF:
  You don't know what the f___ you're doing.



  2) TRY SAYING:
  She's an aggressive go-getter.
  INSTEAD OF:
  She's a ball-busting b__ch.



  3) TRY SAYING:
  Perhaps I can work late.
  INSTEAD OF:
  And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?



  4) TRY SAYING:
  I'm certain that isn't feasible.
  INSTEAD OF:
  No f______ way.



  5) TRY SAYING:
  Really?
  INSTEAD OF:
  You've got to be sh__ing me!



  6) TRY SAYING:
  Perhaps you should check with...
  INSTEAD OF:
  Tell someone who gives a sh__.



  7) TRY SAYING:
  I wasn't involved in the project.
  INSTEAD OF:
  It's not my f______ problem.



  8) TRY SAYING:
  That's interesting.
  INSTEAD OF:
  What the f___?



  9) TRY SAYING:
  I'm not sure this can be implemented.
  INSTEAD OF:
  This sh__ won't work.



  10) TRY SAYING:
  I'll try to schedule that.
  INSTEAD OF:
  Why the f____ didn't you tell me sooner?



  11) TRY SAYING:
  He's not familiar with the issues.
  INSTEAD OF:
  He's got his head up his a__.



  12) TRY SAYING:
  Excuse me, sir?
  INSTEAD OF:
  Eat sh__ and die.



  13) TRY SAYING:
  So you weren't happy with it?
  INSTEAD OF:
  Kiss my a__.



  14) TRY SAYING:
  I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
  INSTEAD OF:
  F___ it, I'm on salary.



  15) TRY SAYING:
  I don't think you understand.
  INSTEAD OF:
  Shove it up your a__.



  16) TRY SAYING:
  I love a challenge.
  INSTEAD OF:
  This job sucks.



  17) TRY SAYING:
  You want me to take care of that?
  INSTEAD OF:
  Who the h___ died and made you boss?



  18 ) TRY SAYING:
  He's somewhat insensitive.
  INSTEAD OF:
  He's a pr_ck.



  Human Resources
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Screamin_Beagle

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Re: Human Resources Directive
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2006, 08:44:22 PM »

Gotta love HR,  41 years old and no I have to learn english again......WTF
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FR8TRN

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Re: Human Resources Directive
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2006, 10:15:14 PM »

Quote
Gotta love HR,  41 years old and no I have to learn english again......WTF

Yeah well don't get all worked up over it, soon you'll be learning Spanish...... [smiley=huepfenlol2.gif]
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ultrafxr

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Re: Human Resources Directive
« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2006, 05:19:15 PM »

Quote

Yeah well don't get all worked up over it, soon you'll be learning Spanish...... [smiley=huepfenlol2.gif]

I laughed my posterior off.  Can't say a$$ you know.
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Midnight Rider

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Re: Human Resources Directive
« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2006, 05:29:27 PM »

Yeah....I sent that out to some of the people in my dept in HR...I'm in HR for a huge A$$ed medical college...I made the e-mail look all serious and chit...got 'em   ;D ;D
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Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of fuel before you can think straight.
I had the right to remain silent, just not the ability...

Gone, but not forgotten...2011 FLTRUSE with
Fullsac X Pipe w/2" Baffles
Legend Air Ride Rear Shocks
Traxxion Dynamics AK-20 Front Suspension
Clearview GT13 Windshield
TTS Mastertune
 

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