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CVO Social => Humor => Topic started by: Talon on January 09, 2008, 03:46:23 PM
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"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill... followed by Churchill's response:
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
Lady Astoronce remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"
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"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West
I know some people like this
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Was on a cruise a few years ago where one of the acts was the Comedian, Marty Allen....yeah, I know old school even for those of us now in our mid-forties. What a classy funnyman...we had tears in our eyes...in the end, you realized he did it without ever uttering an expletive...how many comediens today can say the same thing...sh!t, not me!