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CVO Social => Humor => Topic started by: jaymedic44 on April 02, 2010, 06:10:03 AM
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IRS
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
Don't Mess with Old People!!
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That is FUNNY :2vrolijk_21:
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excellent :orange: :huepfenjump3: :mango: :bananarock:
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:carrot: :jalapeno: :cucumber: :pepper:
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Didn't see that coming... :2vrolijk_21:
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Good one. After Obama get his 15,000 new IRS agents in I bet were all gonna get audited
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Good one. After Obama get his 15,000 new IRS agents in I bet were all gonna get audited
Now hiring daily no experience necessary. I have seen those ads, kinda scary.
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Yeah and those people are gonna go digging into my financial stuff. Great. Yet another way the Gov't. is gonna make us pay more. Almost makes you want to quit your job and collect a check. They seem to live quite well off the Gov't.
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It seems our govt rewards mooches, why work? They get housing, food, HUGE tax refunds, medical, dental..... The only funny I see in this is that they still live and breed with cockroaches. Somethings never change.
This is a rant I can go for days on. :soapbox:
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It seems our govt rewards mooches, why work? They get housing, food, HUGE tax refunds, medical, dental..... The only funny I see in this is that they still live and breed with cockroaches. Somethings never change.
This is a rant I can go for days on. :soapbox:
Never thought of it that way.... I love it!
I also love the fact that they get a tax refund for something they never paid into.
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:D
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One thing for sure, your not going to get over on older people. :2vrolijk_21: :2vrolijk_21:
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And all this time I thought they were spending my money wisely :oops: :nixweiss: