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[1abastarsmda]

I was on another forum and saw a thread something along these lines.  There were some pretty humorous stories to be told.  I thought this might be something some of us might want to share.

I guess I'll start...and if there's any interest in this thread, I have a feeling I'm going to be posting a lot of my old horror stories as they pop back into my head.

Okay, let's see.  I was in Glens Falls, NY working for 3 or 4 days and I met a very pretty girl at a bar on December 30th.  I asked her out for New Year's Eve.  I went to pick her up at her parents' house.  When I got to the door, her mother looked me up and down a few times, and turned her head and yelled, "I hope you took your birth control pill."  I was taken into the living room to meet dad.  He was laying on the couch watching TV with nothing but a pair of shorts on and unfortunately I noticed that he was hanging out of his shorts.  He had hair about half way down his back and some sort of long earring hangiing from one lobe.  All he said for his greeting was "Dude" and never actually looked up at me.  Anyway, she came out then, and wow, she was gorgeous and built.  I couldn't let the family scare me away from the rest of the evening.  We ended up having a great time which concluded at my hotel room (no more need be said there).  Well, I lived in Buffalo at the time and was back home for the weekend a few weeks later.  She called me.  Her parents had just dropped her off at the train station in Albany and she was on her way to move in with me.  I told her to hang out there for a few hours and call her parents when they got home, and have them come pick her back up.

There's a start.  Unfortunately, I've got a lot of these wierd dating fiascos in my history.  Anybody else want to share?

[LarryB]

 

[1abastarsmda]

What pics?  That was back in 1984, and the only camera I carried was an old black and white Polaroid that was issued at work and I usually was out of film.  I didn't pull that out for a drunken one night stand.

[LarryB]

Got a vision going in my head, sorry no that was a flashback

[1abastarsmda]

Got a vision going in my head, sorry no that was a flashback

I was back in Glens Falls just about this time last year.  I think if she still looked that good, I would have taken her with me this time around.  But, despite keeping my eyes open for her, I didn't happen to run into her.  I don't even remember her name and 24 years can make for some drastic changes.

[1abastarsmda]

Back in High School, I started to see someone on the side, besides the gal I had been dating for 4 years.  This new gal asked me to go to a family reunion with her at her grandmother's home.  Sure, why not?  As we got closer to Grandma's, I was getting worried, and then when we made that last turn to the dead end street that my girlfriend lived on, I was in a total panic.  I had to park in my girlfriend's driveway, as Grandma's house was directly across the street.  Believe it or not, I did not get caught.  They said they saw my car in their driveway, and couldn't figure out where I was.  I told them it must have been another car that looked like mine, and apparently they weren't curious enough to check the license plate.

[MUFFMAN]

Went on a blind date, even though I was going out with someone else at the time. Turned out the blind date was my then girlfriends older sister. Needless to say, I didn't have a girlfriend after that night.

[J-Carr]

In 1987 I Met a girl at a party at my house.  I thought she was dating my buddy, which made her off limits in my book.  So... Since I didn't need to impress her I said "Hi new girl.  I'm JC and I'm madly in love with you and want to father your children."  The followed by telling the room that we were going to the dorms to hunt women (used a feline term).  I was Young drunk and on the rebound after a failed engagement so I was not at my most suave in those days.  This chick thought I was funny and we ended up chatting later that night.

Two weeks later my foster brother had me stopped at the appartment of two girls, one of whome he was working on.  The other was the chick from my party.  I moved in with her that night.  Three days later we went out on a date.

For those that doubt the truth of this story you can ask the girl in April at the York GTG... Her name is Malinda and we've been married for over 20 years now.  My foster brother struck out with Malinda's room mate.  He did however end up marrying the room mate's younger sister.  They've been married fro 12 years.  We introduced the room mate to a buddy of mine one night 2 weeks before he left for basic training in the Air Farce.  He asked her to marry him on a phone call from basic training.  They've been married 21 years.

The moral of the story... I never say anything smart assed to a woman.  The chain of events can be catastrophic.

Ride Safe,
J-Carr

[1abastarsmda]

In 1987 I Met a girl at a party at my house.  I thought she was dating my buddy, which made her off limits in my book.  So... Since I didn't need to impress her I said "Hi new girl.  I'm JC and I'm madly in love with you and want to father your children."  The followed by telling the room that we were going to the dorms to hunt women (used a feline term).  I was Young drunk and on the rebound after a failed engagement so I was not at my most suave in those days.  This chick thought I was funny and we ended up chatting later that night.

Two weeks later my foster brother had me stopped at the appartment of two girls, one of whome he was working on.  The other was the chick from my party.  I moved in with her that night.  Three days later we went out on a date.

For those that doubt the truth of this story you can ask the girl in April at the York GTG... Her name is Malinda and we've been married for over 20 years now.  My foster brother struck out with Malinda's room mate.  He did however end up marrying the room mate's younger sister.  They've been married fro 12 years.  We introduced the room mate to a buddy of mine one night 2 weeks before he left for basic training in the Air Farce.  He asked her to marry him on a phone call from basic training.  They've been married 21 years.

The moral of the story... I never say anything smart assed to a woman.  The chain of events can be catastrophic.

Ride Safe,
J-Carr

Ah, yes...1987...a bad year to say anything smart assed to a woman.  I lived in Cleveland and I was in Florida for about 3 weeks.  I saw a cute little pharmacist behind the counter in the drug store and asked if I could take her home in my suitcase.  After spending every night with her for the remainder of the 3 weeks, I went back to Cleveland, thinking I would never see her again.  She showed up at my door in Cleveland the next weekend.  We saw each other every weekend for the next 2 months and by then I had already located a job in FL and moved there.  By the next month, we were married.  Four years later, I had served out my sentence and was free again.  but like you said, watch what you say...the events can be catastrophic. 

[Ghost Rider]

Ah, yes...1987...a bad year to say anything smart assed to a woman. 

Your right, there must have been something in the air that year.  I married my high school sweetheart in 1987, and 21+ years, and 3 kids later, were still together.  Of course the fact that she told me very early in the marriage that if I ever left her, "she would kill me in my sleep" might have helped keep me line.  I never doubted the sincerity of that statement. 

[Hugh Janis]

I need to post here just to keep this thread in my "New Replies" list.  '87 was a great year for me too.  All will remain secret though.

[Twolanerider]

Your right, there must have been something in the air that year.  I married my high school sweetheart in 1987, and 21+ years, and 3 kids later, were still together.  Of course the fact that she told me very early in the marriage that if I ever left her, "she would kill me in my sleep" might have helped keep me line.  I never doubted the sincerity of that statement. 

Believe every word of that too....   

[1abastarsmda]

Then there was the one that I met when I was about 21.  She told me she was 24 and a model...and she looked it.  After seeing her on weekends for a few months, I found out she was a 16 year old high school dropout.  I ran into her about 12 years later in a bar.  I didn't recognize her.  She told me who she was and pulled my away from my girlfriend and told me it was important that she talk to me.  She told me we had a child together and she never told me about it.  When I asked her if she was sure, she said, "Well, it was either you or this other guy Dave, and I never told him either."  I asked if we are talking about a son or a daughter, and she couldn't remember.  It turns out she had 6 children and put 5 up for adoption.  I'm guessing mine wasn't the pick of the litter, assuming it was mine.  I really know how to pick them.

How about this one.  I met a gal online and went out with her for the first time on New Year's Eve.  Around January 4th, she called to tell me that I got her pregnant and she needed money to go have it ended.  When I asked the obvious, she told me it's an early detection test and she already has everything set up to have the pregnancy terminated.  I decided to play along and test her a bit.  I told her not to be so hasty and that we should make this decision mutually.  Emphatic NO from her.  I told her I wanted to go with her and she said her friends were already going along.  I told her I have a big car and we could all go.  Another emphatic NO.  She told me she needs $600 as soon as I can possibly get it to her.  After she realized I wasn't going to bite, she called and told me that her father gave her the money and I don't need to worry anymore and I can go someplace very very warm.  About 3 months later, she sent me an instant message along the lines of Hi, how are you?  What's going on?  Anything exciting?  Work's a drag.  etc and so on...like none of this ever happened.  I think she was heading towards asking me to come over, when I abruptly ended the session telling her someone was at my door or something, and I never signed back on to instant messages again.  Again, I really know how to pick them.

[J-Carr]

Then there was the one that I met when I was about 21.  She told me she was 24 and a model...and she looked it.  After seeing her on weekends for a few months, I found out she was a 16 year old high school dropout.  I ran into her about 12 years later in a bar.  I didn't recognize her.  She told me who she was and pulled my away from my girlfriend and told me it was important that she talk to me.  She told me we had a child together and she never told me about it.  When I asked her if she was sure, she said, "Well, it was either you or this other guy Dave, and I never told him either."  I asked if we are talking about a son or a daughter, and she couldn't remember.  It turns out she had 6 children and put 5 up for adoption.  I'm guessing mine wasn't the pick of the litter, assuming it was mine.  I really know how to pick them.

How about this one.  I met a gal online and went out with her for the first time on New Year's Eve.  Around January 4th, she called to tell me that I got her pregnant and she needed money to go have it ended.  When I asked the obvious, she told me it's an early detection test and she already has everything set up to have the pregnancy terminated.  I decided to play along and test her a bit.  I told her not to be so hasty and that we should make this decision mutually.  Emphatic NO from her.  I told her I wanted to go with her and she said her friends were already going along.  I told her I have a big car and we could all go.  Another emphatic NO.  She told me she needs $600 as soon as I can possibly get it to her.  After she realized I wasn't going to bite, she called and told me that her father gave her the money and I don't need to worry anymore and I can go someplace very very warm.  About 3 months later, she sent me an instant message along the lines of Hi, how are you?  What's going on?  Anything exciting?  Work's a drag.  etc and so on...like none of this ever happened.  I think she was heading towards asking me to come over, when I abruptly ended the session telling her someone was at my door or something, and I never signed back on to instant messages again.  Again, I really know how to pick them.

Dude, Seriously, remind me not to ever let you be my wingman!!!!!      

Ride Safe,
J-Carr

[Hugh Janis]

Love the pick of the litter line.

You should look in the public library or volunteer at the hospital to meet better people! (but what's the fun in that)