TWENTY DOLLARS
On their wedding night,
the young bride approached her new husband
and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.
In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love,
for more than 30 years, with him thinking
that it was a cute way for her to afford
new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day,
she was surprised to find
her husband at home in a very drunken state.
Over the the next few minutes,
he explained that his employer was
going through a process of corporate downsizing,
and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59,
he'd be able to find another position
that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning,
therefore they were facing financial ruin.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book
that showed more than thirty years
of steady deposits and interest
and a balance of nearly $1 million.
Then she showed him
certificates of deposit
issued by the bank
that were worth over $2 million,
and informed him that they were
one of the largest depositors at the bank.
She explained that for the more than
three decades she had "charged" him for sex,
she had saved the money each time
and these were the results
of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments
worth over $3 million,
her husband was so astounded
he could barely speak, but
finally he found his voice and blurted out,
"If I'd had any idea what you were doing,
I would have given you all my business!"
that's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes,
men just don't know when
to keep their mouths shut.