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[deekay]

 
These three old ladies and their dogs were sitting on a
park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher
approached from across the park.
 
The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of
them and opened his trench coat.
 
Gertrude immediately had a stroke.
 
Then Maude also had a stroke.
 
But Tillie, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach
that far.
 
--------------------------------------------------
 
Everyone knows I'm a stickler for good spelling. So, when
an associate e-mailed technical documents asking me to
"decifer" them, I had to set him straight.
 
I wrote, "Decipher is spelled with a ph, not an f. In case
you've forgotten, spell checker comes free with your soft-
ware."
 
A minute later, I got this reply, "Mine must be
dephective."
 
--------------------------------------------------
A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company
knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with
three small children running around at her feet.
 
*'*I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used
the product?' She said, 'Yes, my husband and I use it all
the time.' 'If you don't mind my asking,' he said, 'what do
you use it for?' 'We use it for s*x,' she said. The
researcher was a little taken aback. 'Usually people lie to
me and say they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to
help with a gate hinge.
 
But in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I
admire you for your honesty. Since you've been so frank so
far, can you tell me exactly HOW you use it for s-x?'
 
The woman said, 'I don't mind telling you at all. My
husband and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids
out.
 
--------------------------------------------------
 
INDIAN SCHOOL of BUSINESS - LESSON 1
 
Rajpat (the father): Son, I want you to marry a girl of my
choice. Son: "I will choose my own bride!!!" Rajpat: "But
the girl is Bill Gates's daughter.." Son: "Well, in that
case... Ok"
 
Next Rajpat approaches Bill Gates. Rajpat: "I have a
husband for your daughter...." Bill Gates: "But my daughter
is too young to marry!!!!!" Rajpat: "But this young man is
a vice-president of the World Bank." Bill Gates: "Ah, in
that case... Ok"
 
Finally Rajpat goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Rajpat: "I have a young man to be recommended as a
vice-president.." President: "But I already have more vice-
presidents than I need!" Rajpat: "But this young man is
Bill Gates's son-in-law." President: "Ah, in that case...
Ok"
 
And that my friend, is how Indians do business.
 

[CBW]

Funny stuff