GEEEESH! Come on. Doesn't anyone else have an opinion? Are we sheep? Seriously? If I'm wrong somebody say it! But if I'm right.... say that too
OK DJ, you asked for it. So for you and everyone else involved and interested, here goes:
You wrote in a post elsewhere in this thread that you weren't so thin skinned that anything anyone said to you or about you online was really any big deal. Honest to God I couldn't agree more. Our fellow member Chip here wrote, basically, that he agreed with you as well. So we're all in agreement. No one should take personal affront here just because of some silly damned post. Just about everything here is all in fun; or it should be.
So... we're all agreed? Right? Apparently not. As the recent issue that you've been responding to stems at least partially from something that has exactly that (being thin skinned) as a baseline. A couple of weeks ago I was teasing JC about his sore ass and needing a butt massage after his surgery. Chip made some remark about who should be hired for the massage and was, at the same time, commenting about his hope to go the western get together in Reno. I put one and one together, still teasing JC about his sore ass and using Chip (who it seemed had been playing along) as the foile, and made some remark that we ought to just hire Chip for the massage. I also commented that he was cute.
Rather than taking it as the joke it was, the locker room humor everyone else seemed to understand it to be, and the inconsequential thing that it was Chip decided to none of those things. Not just take it in stride, not be thick enough skinned to roll with the joke, and he went off. I'm still not sure if he thought I was saying he was gay, if he thought I was hitting on him, or just what insecurities manifested the reaction. But the reaction was strong.
Making the issue even more troublesome was that Chip's friend Hubbard joined the conversation also claiming some sort of damage or ill feeling or intent. Quite frankly the whole thing was just nuts. I was trying to be exceptionally polite and not say that then, but it was just frigging nuts.
At the time not wanting to have what was only good natured teasing become an incendiary issue I apologized. Publicly. Totally. Completely. The apology was accepted. In a barely civil fashion, but accepted nonetheless. I assumed that ended the matter and that no one was really pissed off at anyone about anything else. It's just a frigging chat site after all !
That was until all this blew up. I don't believe this would have been anything approaching the issue it is except for the fact that Chip is still upset about the events of a couple weeks ago and he apparently just doesn't like being corrected. At least from my perspective that is the only explanation for the way things have transpired.
The full events that you're reacting to without having been involved in (got to be something like the cousin/neighbor walking in the door and tryig to stir things up as you're trying to calm down a family in the middle of a domestic abuse call some night eh?) are as follows:
We have a new-ish user here named Osmacat or Omsacat, one or the other and I forget which. Chip had apparently completely innocently misread the gentlemen's name as Osamacat. He then started referring to him as Osama.
If someone's username really was Osamacat you can understand him having to expect to be referred to as Osama. But if it's not you can equally understand his pointing out that referring to him as Osama is incorrect. You can even understand (in the current world climate) how he might find it objectionable (without regard to intent, it just simply might be perceived as objectionable).
After a couple of "Osama" references the user pointed out the mistake. He did it politely. Didn't flame anyone in the process. Said nothing derogatory or ill in any way about any other user. Chip (a user with much experience here) responded to the new user by telling him not to be bitchy. The entire response was, quite frankly, ungentlemanly and unnecessarily sharp. If Chip had just taken a moment to notice or consider that he might be misusing the name it would have ended there. Instead he chose to verbally slap at the person who had simply corrected him for using his name improperly. Hubbard then wrote something in the same vein in support of Chip and the groundwork was laid for an exchange that might be unpleasant and was certainly unnecessary.
I saw the exchange. I felt it could possibly be an issue. I thought best approach was just bringing it to the attention of the person that seemed to both the source of the problem and the most likely gentleman to easily solve it. In this case that would have been Chip. I sent him this private message:
Good afternoon Chip,
Just doing a bit of quiet private moderating here. You'd written:
"So I guess it's never going to change, I try to help you and you just bit#h about your handle."
Think about cutting the guy just a bit of slack. He's new after all. He'd only made a relatively mundane remark after being called "Osama." And that remark from him really didn't seem bitchy.
Even if he had seemed a bit bitchy I'm not sure being so after being teased in comparison to Osama bin Laden would have been totally unjustified. After all, some simply won't accept or recognize what you might mean as good natured teasing as quickly or readily as might others.
The other gentleman hadn't complained. Hadn't said anything at all. Just trying to point something out in a friendly manner and nip it in the bud before it might get out of hand.
Have a good day,
Don That was all I sent him. It is completely professional and polite and extends the courtesy of bring the issue to his attention first. Not an ill word was spoken or suggested. I didn't even consider the possibility of there being anything ill or untoward coming from this as I didn't realize there were any ill feelings pending between he and I. Apparently I was wrong because this was his response to me:
Don
What you have read and are trying to moderate is just one post that was just written this afternoon.
The power you seem to think you posses as a moderator appears to have gone to your head.
If your going to do any moderating then read ALL of the post that back up his conversations with me.
Also for example, Two Lane Rider is your handle, everyone calls you TwoLane, 103Thunder is called 103T, JCZ is called JC, so now you want to have issue with me because I called Osamacat Osama. Get a life Don and moderate what needs to be moderated and don't be so petty. Don't make an issue out of something that's not there.
I find it stupid that you bring up the Bin Laden angle. But remember that Osama is in Osamacats name. I didn't make it up.
I suggest you leave me alone till there is an issue that needs to be moderated. If the earlier issue about your sexual orientation that I wanted nothing to do with still bugs you then REMEMBER, that's your problem. I still want nothing to do with that lifestyle and believe this site is not the place to flaunt it.
I believe your PM to me HAS overstepped your responsibility to this site and it clearly shows me that you have issues with me concerning our earlier discussions on the above mentioned matters and are holding that as a grudge.
In the future I suggest you discuss with magoo, 103T or JC should you feel that something I wrote needs to be discussed or moderated. Should you want to discuss this further then I suggest that we could have a conference call and I will ask Naitram to be included. After all, he's the final judge as to how issues are to be handled.
Until that becomes necessary, leave me alone!
Chip
HD2003 So the first harsh words spoken were those of the supposedly injured party here. Chip is completely correct that just missing a letter in the name is no big deal. But the reactions that came from it did lay the potential for being unpleasant; especially after a third party joined in the fray.
No abuse of a moderator's role was exercised. There was no damned "power trip." In fact the only editing that was eventually done was 103's work to simply remove Omsacat's post correcting Chip and the editing of Chip's and Hubbard's posts to eliminate the Osama reference. Suggesting someone being on a power trip is simply asinine.
Tell me this DJ, you suggested that moderators here not do the task they've been asked to do. That such work all devolve on Naitram. If a watch Lieutenant gets a complaint from a citizen about a Sergeant on the street are the responsibilities delegated to that Sergeant pulled and it is automatically assumed that the Sergeant can't exercise the responsibilites delegated to him? That is, after all, what you're suggesting here. In fact the Sergeant or anyone else to whom some responsibility has been delegated simply can not back away. If he does then the next person that mouths off will know he's got a free ride. And that, basically, is how I responded to Chip's response to me.
I think it's important for everyone to know the full context of this discussion so that they understand what has transpired and arent' concerned about the moderators hiding in a dark room and conspiring against them (intimations and suggestions of power trips to the contrary). To do that, however, it seems I have to continue in a second post. This one is full.....
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Topic: Say it aint so... more deletions? (Read 8337 times)