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[The Bolvine Gigolo!]

 Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the
 tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are
 afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the
 apples from the ground that isn't as good, but easy. The apples at the top
 think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.
 

 They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is
brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
  
 Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up
 to women to stomp the h**l out of them until they turn into something
 acceptable to have dinner with.
  

[displacing air]

But what if they stomp on the grapes for 20 years and never bottle it!!!

[RJ749]

Ah crap, had to cut that one and send it to a few of the ladies in the family.

I know somehow it will come back to haunt me.