And, that's how the fight started...
My wife sat down on
the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked,
'What's on the TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
******************************************
My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and
said,
"Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying,
"Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight
started...
******************************************
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back
out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph,
so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and
discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped
back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with
a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather
out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe
my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
****************************************
My wife was hinting about what
she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I
want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds...'
I bought her a set of scales.
And that's when the fight started...
******************************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
her someplace expensive! So, I took her to a gas station.
And that's how the fight started...
******************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter
asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I
looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened
my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That
silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You
might have gotten disability, too!'
And that's how the fight started...
******************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her
drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up
those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober
since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a
person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
******************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad
cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...
******************************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her
husband, " feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I
really need you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near
perfect!'
And then the fight started...
Author
Topic: and that is how the fight started (Read 845 times)