A pirate walks into a bar...
BARTENDER:
Hey, Pete, I haven't seen you in awhile. What happened? You look terrible!
PIRATE:
What do you mean? I feel fine.
BARTENDER:
What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.
PIRATE:
Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.
BARTENDER:
Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?
PIRATE:
We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off, then I got fitted with a hook.
I'm fine now.
BARTENDER:
What about the eye patch?
PIRATE:
Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them chit in my eye.
BARTENDER:
You're kidding! You lost an eye just from bird chit?
PIRATE:
It was my first day with the hook!
Arrgg