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Author Topic: Watch a loved one crash...  (Read 6509 times)

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harleychef2011

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Watch a loved one crash...
« on: September 08, 2015, 04:49:00 PM »

I've been riding for about 10 years now.  My kids have "grown up" more or less watching me ride.  My 20 year old son saved up his money for a down payment on a Fat Bob...while out riding the next day (he took the MSF driving class already) he made a rookie mistake when hitting a bump and crashed right in front of me.  Luckily not hurt too bad...but brand new bike all screwed up.  My heart was broken for him.  Months later and several eBay purchases later we got his bike pretty much back to new shape... poor kid fell over on a small hill...no major damage.  We finally had a chance to ride together and were on a nice mountain road (in hindsight probably too risky in the first place) and watched him crash in my rear view mirror on a curve.  I was distraught.  He was amazingly lucky and walked away with little more than a scratched helmet...but I knew in my heart that was a miracle....he could have been serverly hurt or even died on a wreck like that.

I'm proud of him because he is back in the saddle and not giving up.  But the "sick to my stomach" feeling haunts me after watching him crash like that.  I'm thankful he's healthy and didn't get hurt...but MAN, did that suck!

Had to get that off my chest, I guess.  Anyone else watched a loved one or friend wreck?  How did you "get over it"?
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GregKhougaz

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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2015, 05:36:38 PM »

There are too many threads here answering your question.   Here is a current one:  Re: 2015 RG CVO  I should caution caution you that there are at least two fatalities in that thread.

After my nephew passed the msf class and got his license, I spent several days riding with him trying to make sure he was riding safely and competently.  Since he seemed to be doing well,  we agreed he could take his bike ('95 Suzuki Intruder) to his apartment.  He crashed, right in front of me, on the way there, staring at the curb when he should have been looking where he wanted to go.   He badly bruised a knee cap and I hope and pray he learned his lesson.  I think I suffered more than he.   Hopefully he'll be a better rider for the incident. 
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Keats

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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2015, 05:38:31 PM »

you might want to get a different riding partner till he gets a few more miles under his belt.  It is hard to enjoy a ride that you are waiting for the crash.
I ride with my 21 yr old now, but I would be lying if I said I do not worry.
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kiro

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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2015, 05:58:58 PM »

Thankfully, I've not had to witness anyone crash in recent times, but certainly have seen a few in my day, although not family. I'm not sure what's going on here, but the local newscast and newspaper had articles about the motorcycle deaths this year over the weekend - already exceeding last year's total in Maine by double and the riding season has several months yet to go. A guy and his wife were killed Sunday when they ran head on into a pick-up that was in their lane. There was no explanation noted in the paper as to why the truck was in the wrong lane, but it's difficult to protect yourself in a case like that. Guess it doesn't matter much what the reason - dead is dead and you don't come back from it. The articles also indicate by event who was wearing a helmet - as if that would save you in a head on collision at speed, both people had helmets on. I ride some with my son, now in his mid-thirties, and I think he's a better rider than I ever was - but I still worry... He's old enough now not to do some of the crazy stuff he used to at least. Although it could happen, I never worried too much about killing myself over some error in judgement, but others on the road with us are a definite concern, worse now than ever...

I'm pleased to learn your son is okay harleychef2011. Seeing him crash surely must have made you think about many things you'd rather not consider.
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Ironhorse

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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2015, 06:35:41 PM »

I'm glad he passed the MSF. Just know that he has only scratched the surface of training.

He needs practice. Not riding, but practice. Not getting on the bike and riding from home to a shop, restaurant, or scenic road, but practice.  He needs to DEDICATE 1-2 hours a week in an empty parking lot working on the basics till they are second nature. Everything from stops, starts, foot placement, head turns, eye placement, braking, head turns, eye placement, balance, head turns, eye placement, friction zone, head turns, eye placement, throttle control, head turns eye placement, posture, and wrist positions. Did I mention head turns and eye placement? "Look where you want to go" must become more than words in a booklet or lecture.

He needs to get comfortable with the bike, not as in fit, but as in feel. That motorcycle is telling him things ALL the time, he needs to know what it is, and that comes with feel. What the engine, frame and tires are doing all comes with feel.

I apologize if I come across as gruff and on a soapbox, it's just that I have seen too many folks take one MSF class, and then think they are ready for the realities of the road. What they are really ready for is more practice.

Mark

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doublerunner

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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2015, 06:35:51 PM »

Sorry to hear that. I know if that was me I would worry over it incessantly. Just wondering if your son ever drove any other bikes growing up.... dirt or moped or street? All my kids rode dirt bikes and 4 wheelers when they were younger, as did I. I have found that experience with smaller and less powerful bikes to be very helpful, especially since I now ride a full dresser. Point I am getting at is that perhaps this bike is a little too big and powerful for him to learn on.... but again I don't know his past experience so I may be way off base
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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2015, 06:48:44 PM »

Sorry to hear he's having problems but happy he wasn't hurt. When my son decided to start riding
The first thing I did was sit him down and made him really think about the consequences of having an accident. I didn't want to ruin his fun but, even at the age of 30, he hadn't stopped to think about all the best things in his life that could change in an instant. How his lost attention could hurt his wife, etc.
If you haven't had that conversation you might consider it, it worked for me and mine.
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MrSurly

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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2015, 06:49:46 PM »


I'm glad he passed the MSF. Just know that he has only scratched the surface of training.

He needs practice. Not riding, but practice. Not getting on the bike and riding from home to a shop, restaurant, or scenic road, but practice.  He needs to DEDICATE 1-2 hours a week in an empty parking lot working on the basics till they are second nature. Everything from stops, starts, foot placement, head turns, eye placement, braking, head turns, eye placement, balance, head turns, eye placement, friction zone, head turns, eye placement, throttle control, head turns eye placement, posture, and wrist positions. Did I mention head turns and eye placement? "Look where you want to go" must become more than words in a booklet or lecture.

He needs to get comfortable with the bike, not as in fit, but as in feel. That motorcycle is telling him things ALL the time, he needs to know what it is, and that comes with feel. What the engine, frame and tires are doing all comes with feel.

I apologize if I come across as gruff and on a soapbox, it's just that I have seen too many folks take one MSF class, and then think they are ready for the realities of the road. What they are really ready for is more practice.

Mark

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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2015, 06:56:12 PM »

I like many guys on this site grew up on dirt bikes.  At the age of 4 with training wheels on my Honda XR-50 would ride til it seemed forever.  Never did I understand how my parents felt watching me for years racing and crashing on a regularly basic during those times until, you guessed it. My kids came along. I can't remember how many times I spent hrs in the ER.  Not happy times for me then or my "Ole"  body now for sure. My Dad always acted like Mr tough Guy. Get back up on it Son.  Its calling you...  Once I got my licence and turned to street bikes is was over for me in the dirt until my kids came along.  There is nothing anyone can do or say when you have that Helpless Pit in your stomach watching a family member you care about in pain after you see the crash happen right in front of your eyes.  Now that my youngest son at the age of 18 is wanting a street bike, I find myself struggling with it.  I would love to have him right beside me going down a long winding road for sure. Back in the late 70/early 80 years there wasn't half the amount of cars on the road and no Cells phones. People just have no clue how to drive anymore.  I can't even imagine how that must have felt for you seeing it happen twice. We all know what Bikes draw us to. The freedom and feeling is very powerful for sure. I will stop kidding myself and come to the reality here shortly. He will be right beside me going threw the gears. I just know it !!  Its just how we all Roll. 
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Royalroadie

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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2015, 06:59:07 PM »

Sorry to hear that. I know if that was me I would worry over it incessantly. Just wondering if your son ever drove any other bikes growing up.... dirt or moped or street? All my kids rode dirt bikes and 4 wheelers when they were younger, as did I. I have found that experience with smaller and less powerful bikes to be very helpful, especially since I now ride a full dresser. Point I am getting at is that perhaps this bike is a little too big and powerful for him to learn on.... but again I don't know his past experience so I may be way off base

As mentioned above, I have always recommended a smaller bike for starters.   It takes lots of  practice in a safe environment.  You have to program your body to feel and react to a level that becomes second nature.  The small bikes are more forgiving of minor mistakes.  When I reentered after not riding for 20 years I bought a dirt bike first to get my  muscle memory back  to the point of second nature.  Then I bought a 750 for my first street bike in 20 years.  I rode it for a year and then moved up to a larger 1600cc 800lbs cruiser.  I took several  advanced riders course taught by a Motorcycle officer and we spent 2 days riding obstacle courses during one of them.  The classes have saved me on several occasions .  I had friends that gave me Chit for750 but I told them the $500-$1000 loss on price after a year was a lot cheap than a bad wreck.    Several of the guys that gave me a hard time bought large cruisers for their reentry bike and some of them have had several bad wrecks.   I think my time and money has been well spent.   I finally sold the dirt bike several years ago because closing in on 60, I do not bounce as well as I did when I was 40.  I always recommend a tame 250-750   for a first bike and classes to those who want to ride.
It is truly cheaper in the long run.
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moscooter

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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2015, 08:05:59 PM »

 :-\
I certainly agree with the (dirt bike) arena as a good starting point for learning how to ride.  Yes,  you can still get hurt but not typically as bad as on hard pavement and other "traffic".

On the other hand,  I would ask the orig. poster if he is damn sure the kid really has the right attitude and corresponding physical attributes to really be and/or become a proficient rider................or is he really trying to please 'ol Dad by trying to get involved in a sport he really shouldn't and/or wouldn't except for "trying to please 'ol Dad". :nixweiss:

If I understand what has happened so far,  he has crashed and then gotten the bike fixed back up only to crash again. :oops:

As a Dad,  I would be re-assessing just whether or not he (the son) ought to continue this activity and/or maybe take up another sport before the consequences become (not so pretty). :nervous:
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backroad Mike

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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2015, 10:35:30 PM »

:-\
I certainly agree with the (dirt bike) arena as a good starting point for learning how to ride.  Yes,  you can still get hurt but not typically as bad as on hard pavement and other "traffic".

On the other hand,  I would ask the orig. poster if he is damn sure the kid really has the right attitude and corresponding physical attributes to really be and/or become a proficient rider................or is he really trying to please 'ol Dad by trying to get involved in a sport he really shouldn't and/or wouldn't except for "trying to please 'ol Dad". :nixweiss:

If I understand what has happened so far,  he has crashed and then gotten the bike fixed back up only to crash again. :oops:

As a Dad,  I would be re-assessing just whether or not he (the son) ought to continue this activity and/or maybe take up another sport before the consequences become (not so pretty). :nervous:

My thoughts exactly.   :2vrolijk_21:
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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2015, 12:59:43 PM »

Sounds similar to my wife and her initial problems with a Fatboy.   MSF doesn't prepare you for fear of damaging the bike and once it happens it gets in your head.   

Got her a Ninja 250 to practice on and after a few months sold it for what we paid for it.

Maybe thats what he needs, something he can practice on in a quiet parking lot until learning how to balance, clutch and brake.   Counter steering in curves since he fell over in a turn sounds like something he really needs to train his brain on.

Hell I sat on my new bike for an hour last night just mastering balancing it without the kickstand down so I could get comfortable on the center of gravity.   Dresser isn't a Cruiser by any stretch.    I'm still practicing low speed clutching and feathering the rear brake.   
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RonandJanet

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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2015, 01:29:08 PM »

I am glad your son is OK and yes practice is critical.   Both my wife and one of sons took the MSF course and got their licenses. Both grow up on dirt bikes.  My wife got her own bike and did pretty good then took a spill right next to me at a stop light. She simply lost the balance when she leaned over. Of course she hit my bike and we both went over. My first thought was for her. I was worried she was caught between them etc. But she was fine (a few scrapes).  Then I got to lift both bikes up. I still recall people just going by (even when we were on the ground) to get through the light. A cop was right across the street and went in the other direction.  All in all not too bad.

One evening while returning from a rally it started to rain. My wife was riding behind me on my bike and my son was riding his behind me. I saw him standing up on the pegs and horsing around. He decided he was going to pull over and didn't; see the giant hole which sent him flying. I was so worried and as I was turning around my wife jumped off to run back to him. I rode back and got there about the same time. he had scraped and bumps and his bike was messed up. I pulled the bike back up and bent some critical items back so it was ride-able.  He said he wasn't going to ride back but we told him he had too. He finally did. he never liked riding after that and eventually sold his bike. My other son still ride and the younger one wants to ride so we will see.

In both cases you get so scared and worried. I have been riding with people that have been hurt before.  Sucks
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PinkE

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Re: Watch a loved one crash...
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2015, 02:32:34 PM »

Randy and I were out on our bikes a few weeks ago, I ride a trike because I feel more comfortable at 65 and have ridden previously on a 2 wheeler most of my adult life.  I have been having some issues with some medications I have been on making me have dizzy spells so I haven't been doing much riding lately at all.  Well I was feeling guilty because Randy likes when we ride together and I have been holding him back so when he suggested a ride I said yes, I was feeling OK...Well as soon as we left I knew I wasn't 100%, we stopped at an auto parts store and I knew I shouldn't be riding so I asked him to ride his bike home and bring back my car, he did and he rode my trike home and I drove my car, I feel fine in the car but the bike I feel dizzy...I was really embarrassed that I had to do that, but I would rather be safe than sorry.  We cancelled our trip to Maggie Valley this year, there is no way I'm riding in the mountains till I get these meds straight, the Dr is working on it and taking lots of tests in the next few weeks...I guess I just wanted to say, if your not feeling it don't ride.  I haven't taken any course, but I did practice many nights in a parking lot till I felt comfortable braking, shifting, swerving, and stopping.  I know this has really helped me. 
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