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Author Topic: Jewish Quarterback  (Read 1197 times)

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thayerbd

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Jewish Quarterback
« on: February 10, 2017, 04:53:04 PM »

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all of the colleges and the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a player who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank. In one corner of the back-ground, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA- PLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" the coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So he brings him to the U.S. and teaches him the great game of football. And the Chicago Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says "You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mom," the young man says. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says ......... "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!!!"
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AXIL

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Re: Jewish Quarterback
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2017, 11:33:36 AM »

sooooo true
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davidwruth

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Re: Jewish Quarterback
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2017, 07:29:46 PM »

Ouch. +1 on too true
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D-N-D

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Re: Jewish Quarterback
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2017, 05:39:17 AM »

 :o :o
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J Heinlein

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Re: Jewish Quarterback
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2017, 07:25:58 AM »

So True.   
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red ben59

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Re: Jewish Quarterback
« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2017, 09:03:35 PM »

 Welcome to CHICAGO, so sadd  :'(
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Ironhorse

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Re: Jewish Quarterback
« Reply #6 on: February 26, 2017, 06:48:06 AM »

Speaking of Bears,....

After Baby Bear caught Goldie locks sleeping in her bed, the DCFS (Department of Cubs and Family Service) conducted a residence check and found bruise marks on her. Cub abuse at the hands of her parents was the ruling, and the court decided that Baby Bear would be sent to a Bear Foster Family. Baby Bear told the court that she didn't want to go to a foster home, and that she wanted to live with the Chicago Bears. When asked why, Baby Bear replied, "I know I'll be safe there, the Chicago Bears can't beat anyone".
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"But men are men, the best sometimes forget" Shakespeare, Othello Act 2, Scene 3
 

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