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CVO Social => Other Topics => Topic started by: LAZine on November 01, 2019, 01:29:22 PM
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For many years, my husband and I have been riders. Sometimes two up, sometimes on two separate bikes, but mostly two up. Recently, a dear friend was involved in a motorcycle crash and sustained severe injuries. That incident has us rethinking our riding.
I have always had the mindset that an accident that left me handicapped could, but wouldn’t happen to me. After all, I am well trained. I practice lots. I don’t ride at night. I don’t ride after drinking. So many reasons why I felt like an accident would not happen to me. Well, best I can tell, our dear friend was well trained, well practiced, wasn’t riding at night, and hadn’t drank any alcohol. Yet it happened to him.
We have a handicapped son who depends on us. If we were not here for him, (we eventually will not be, but hopefully in many years) what would he do? For that reason, the accident has shaken us up, and we have decided that riding is no longer for us. We have parked the bike for the last time. It is true that even looking at the bike provokes the want to ride. But truly, it isn’t for us any longer.
For those that have made this decision, any advice, opinions, or thoughts? Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.
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I understand how you and your husband feel.
I have been waffling between buying another bike or trike and just giving up riding all together. As much as I love to ride I don't seem to have that much time anymore and the negatives seem to out-way the joy at times. Yet the thought of not riding anymore is a depressing thought.
I accept my declining mobility and also understand family depends on me being active and able to help them when needed. I can't do that if I'm recovering from injures from some accident not my fault such as one caused by an inattentive driver running into me.
I don't know if there is an easy decision and no matter which way you go you will probably second guess yourself. :nixweiss:
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Well said VaEagle. Am not to that point - yet - but someday giving up 2 wheels becomes a necessity if we live that long. Rode a lot when younger, didn't worry much at all at the first about wrecks, etc. Then a younger friend lost an eye in a bike race. Shortly before that watched another fellow lose his life in a freak accident - all his fault. Was too young for either to have the impact on me that it would now, but we did pretend to be a little more cautious when we rode after that. Sort of...
Have lost so many friends to bike wrecks I rarely dwell on it, but do think about them fondly at times. Seems to be more as each year passes and most were not their fault. Usually it's a driver making a left turn in front of them or running a stop sign, effect is still the same. Another funeral. Several friends gone from single bike wrecks - off the road for no apparent reason. Suppose avoiding an animal or ?? but nobody knows why. Couple of friends hurt badly in bike wrecks last month - not their fault. Bikes totaled.
Understand where you are coming from. No wisdom here, just know there are a lot of folks out there who used to ride, quit for one reason or another, & most all miss it. Had a very nice older fellow walk up to me at a gas station last week & tell me about bikes he rode, places he went, & the fun he had when he rode. Happens to me occasionally & always a pleasant conversation. You can see it in their eyes - that happiness of things that once were that brought them joy, camaraderie, and a fun way to see the world.
We know when it's time to give some things up, sounds like you have made that decision. Hope you have a lot of happy memories & maybe sometime you will see a biker somewhere & tell them about your bike riding days. One chapter closes, another one opens.
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Sorry for your friend. We all know someone. Cashing out before your time....your call. As for this site, this is one of the worst post ever. We dont need reminded or even need to discuss taxes and death.
Advise, find a new expensive hobby with all the money your saving. Dont let it involve speed, gasoline, roadways, travel of any sort, beer, buddies and scantily clad women so your not reminded of us you left behind. We will be hanging our asses out and riding by, you might see us. Sometimes in the evening in the distance you might even hear one of us risking it all, throttle on...
Good luck and God bless everyone.
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I have heard all of the excuses why people do not ride. Whether two up with meor on their own bike. Most notably, "you know, I knew a person killed on a motorcycle"
To me that is lame. I too have lost a friend, co worker and even a family member while they were riding?
I can safely say we all have a MUCH longer list of people we knew that were killed in an automobile crash, yet we climb into our cars and truck everyday. We load up our children, our parents, our friends, co workers, and our beloved pets and put them, and us, in harms way.
I live my life believing that " when it is my time, it will be my time". No matter what I am doing. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and I enjoy riding. If I die while riding, everyone will know that I died doing what I love.
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while that is all true, what would be a minor accident in a car or truck could be catastrophic on a motorcycle. what if the op were involved in an accident and was not killed, but severely impaired? brain damage? loss of limb? that would suck for almost anyone, but with a special needs child thrown in the mix... nah, I fully support the op. I think he is making a very well informed, and thought out decision. one which we all have to face at some point in time.
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All good points and good discussion. It is a personal decision. We'll all stop riding at some point, for a number of (valid) reasons.
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I had a crash three years ago at 65 years old. A car ran into me. It took me 6 months to make a decision on what to do. The bike was a total loss. I decided to get another bike and now at almost 69 I believe it was the right decision. I have just over 500.000 miles in 25 years. Started riding late in life as my last wife did not like to ride. Best decision ever to dump her....
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while that is all true, what would be a minor accident in a car or truck could be catastrophic on a motorcycle. what if the op were involved in an accident and was not killed, but severely impaired? brain damage? loss of limb? that would suck for almost anyone, but with a special needs child thrown in the mix... nah, I fully support the op. I think he is making a very well informed, and thought out decision. one which we all have to face at some point in time.
In many ways, I’m not afraid of death on a motorcycle. I am most concerned with an injury such that I am alive but severely handicapped with brain damage, etc. Essentially a vegetable.
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LAZine, I completely understand your apprehension. And of course only your and your husband can make the final decision. I never gave it all that much thought in my younger years (I'm 74 years young now!) as I thought I was invincible. But after a few incidents I realize that I am not and I too have wondered 'is it time.' But my wife and I (especially her) have decided that too very much of our social life and activities are just too intertwined with motorcycling to give it up entirely. So for the time being we are keeping on keeping on.
God bless and best wishes for whatever your ultimate decision is.
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Had a serious health issue, added to my list of things I need to avoid or risk really big issues. Decided to hang it up, sold my Harley Limited.
Wife noticed I was not my normal self, felt I was even depressed. Told me to buy another bike If I wanted but to buy one that would be easier on the old body.
Bought a BMW K1600B or Bagger because it was lighter, smoother and had reverse. All things that reduced chances of pulling anything internal.
Bottom line, wife and I feel it's better to take my chances enjoying life than being miserable but safer. If something happens to me, so be it, wife and I accept that risk for the reward.
Not knocking your decision. That's a personal thing. Wishing you the best, just sharing my choice.
Sent from my SM-J327T using Tapatalk
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March 9th 2017 my wife went down on her bike. I never figured it would happen to her, she was a motorcycle safety instructor for a few years. She was a smart and skilled rider, an all the gear all the time rider.
An 18 wheeler had passed her on I-75, then at a safe distance ahead of her pulled back in to the right lane. A moment later the driveshaft came out from under the truck. My wife could not go left as a car was next to her, she hit the drive shaft square at 70 mph. Needless to say it broke her front rim, would not roll though the forks. Bent the forks too. She went down, and slide a long way on the interstate.
She ended up with a broken left wrist from the handlebar impact, 3 broken ribs on the left side, and broken left collar bone, and a sprained right ankle. No road rash, lots of helmet and leather rash.
Day after she got out of the hospital she saw her totaled bike, saw the rim could not roll, and I could put my hand between the tire and rim on the rear, she said "no one could have rode that out could they" I replied no, it will not roll. She then said " I want a new bike, exactly like this one.
I was shocked. I am not sure I would have got back on a bike after that, and I have been riding much longer than her. She has rode over 50K miles since the wreck.
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March 9th 2017 my wife went down on her bike. I never figured it would happen to her, she was a motorcycle safety instructor for a few years. She was a smart and skilled rider, an all the gear all the time rider.
An 18 wheeler had passed her on I-75, then at a safe distance ahead of her pulled back in to the right lane. A moment later the driveshaft came out from under the truck. My wife could not go left as a car was next to her, she hit the drive shaft square at 70 mph. Needless to say it broke her front rim, would not roll though the forks. Bent the forks too. She went down, and slide a long way on the interstate.
She ended up with a broken left wrist from the handlebar impact, 3 broken ribs on the left side, and broken left collar bone, and a sprained right ankle. No road rash, lots of helmet and leather rash.
Day after she got out of the hospital she saw her totaled bike, saw the rim could not roll, and I could put my hand between the tire and rim on the rear, she said "no one could have rode that out could they" I replied no, it will not roll. She then said " I want a new bike, exactly like this one.
I was shocked. I am not sure I would have got back on a bike after that, and I have been riding much longer than her. She has rode over 50K miles since the wreck.
You have a great catch sir! Happy for both of you!
Sent from my SM-J327T using Tapatalk
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Please do not construe my previous post as disagreeing with your decision. I do not have a wife or kids so my decisions affect only me. I do not wear a skid lid for the reason that if I am in a wreck that a brain bucket saved my life, I doubt the rest of my body would be worth living life. I applaud you for the decision and especially for putting your child first. You sound like awesome parents.
Enjoy your life, No matter how many wheels you straddle!
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Quote " March 9th 2017 my wife went down on her bike. I never figured it would happen to her, she was a motorcycle safety instructor for a few years. She was a smart and skilled rider, an all the gear all the time rider."
Dave I remember reading this when first posted and very happy your wife was riding with skill and protective gear.
Many of us think about when we will need to make the decision to no longer ride.
For me its not any time soon. My wife, well we will see with next riding season.
We have had many wrecks here this year involving bikes, many have been from the crotch rocket line. Racing their shadow or buddy. High percentage didn't make it.
But we also had a lady that recently fell out of a vehicle she was riding in, and died do to head trauma. Maybe she didn't get the door closed who knows.
People get hit in crosswalks around here. Things happen.
The op made a decision to stop riding and for her it's the right one. I support that.
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It is a difficult decision we all must make at sometime, based on our individual reasons. Speaking only for myself, just for today the pleasure I get from riding a motorcycle still out weighs everything else.
Have I changed? Yes. I am much more cautious. I am less aggressive. I take fewer chances. I do what I can to mitigate the risks. But when the day comes when I no longer enjoy riding, and that day may never come, I will make a similar posting.
Until then I will plan rides, carefully selecting the optimal route, the distance between fuel stops, the lunch stops, the National Parks to visit, and invite those who wish to ride along.
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Some of us here know a guy, name not mentioned, that's a member and has been very active with the forum over the last many years.
I'm not sure, but maybe 7 or 8 years ago they were riding 2-up and hit a deer. She was airlifted out and died from the accident. He was taken to the hospital and spent many months in recovery and still has back and leg issues. But he still rides when he can.
So I don't know how much closer to home it could hit, as others have mentioned too.
Riding is a choice and you do the best you can to ride defensively, but there are WAY TOO MANY distracted drivers now that it does scare me a little to ride. But again, I look at all crossings to see if I get eye contact and start to slow down if not. We all want to enjoy ourselves riding and I will say that it takes my mind away from work and that stress.
Years ago, in '82, I had an ultralight airplane and when I would come home from work I would go flying. Boy talk about taking your mind off daily chit, just try flying something that weighs less than 250# a few thousand feet off the ground. I also had pontoon floats and flew off the water, that was a BIG HOOT and a half. Beats any bike ride I ever had... :)
I digress... :(
It's everyone option to hang up the riding boots whenever they feel so compelled. I plan on riding a few more years. With our new to us toy hauler with a 12' garage, I believe the wife and I will be seeing some states on her to visit list.
Oh, I'm down to 32 work days and then I'm retired... :2vrolijk_21: :2vrolijk_21:
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I totally understand your choice to give up riding for your child. A few years ago three friends of ours were in a motorcycle accident. One passed in the air ride to the hospital and the other two do not remember the day but spent months in the hospital and rehab. They are both back on a bike. After the accident my wife mentioned something about selling her bike cause she didn't feel safe, I told her I would support her choice but I wasn't going to give up mine. It's been 4 years and some of our best vacations have been with our bikes and I found this website and met some nice people because of my bike. But maybe look into getting a convertible and take your kid with you for a day with the top down.
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I've always thought about what would happen in a crash on the bike, and as I ride 99% of the time with my wife, I consider the ramifications for us both. I ride carefully, and always assume that every car driver out there is out to kill me - makes me a better car driver too. But following the death (non-accident related, and he didn't ride) of our son five years ago, out of the blue, I've come round to thinking that when your time is up, your time is up, so a "what if" isn't going to stop me riding - age will, of course - I'm almost 68 now - but I'll continue as long as I can.
A close friend for around 40 years, who also rides a CVO, same age as me, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, gym 3 times a week, never a day's illness, has just been giver 3-6 months to live from Bowel Cancer that appeared out of the blue, even though he faithfully did the every-2-year tests for it that we get in the UK. That's going to stop him riding, as death will eventually do to us all. We don't escape this life alive.
You could be lying in bed when the ceiling falls in and kills you, or any other thing out of the blue. But till the day comes, I want to keep on riding as long as I am able, and nothing is going to make me stop "just in case".
Of course, the choice is yours, and I understand the position with your son, but life is short - 40 years passes in a flash, it seems - you never know how long you have, so for me, I want to live life to the full, doing things I enjoy. And my bike has given me enormous pleasure, taking me to wonderful places I'd never have otherwise been, and making many good friends along the way. I wouldn't change that for the world.
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Heard a phrase while back that my apply here..
"We spend our first 40 years trying to kill ourselves and our next 40 years trying to live forever!"
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When I was a much younger man I had no qualms about riding in heavy traffic and even in major cities. I was a defensive rider/driver with excellent skills, and managed to survive the two instances of cretins in four wheeled vehicles running over me, with injuries that required a trip to the emergency room but no overnight stays. Now I'm much older, my skills have deteriorated just like anyone's does after nearly 70 years, and I no longer feel comfortable riding (or driving) in heavy city traffic. Look around you when you are out on the highways these days and see the same thing I see, a larger and growing percentage of vehicles on the roads with medium to severe crash damage, some with obviously more than one incident, driven by clueless and don't care people. It takes the fun out of riding when you have to protect yourself from a growing number of lousy drivers. It also doesn't help that you no longer heal as quickly and completely as when you were a teenager, so even a non-fatal collision can be a permanent life changing thing.
These days I only ride out in the country, and I ride much less often and for shorter distances. The time is rapidly approaching when I will get rid of the bike and call it quits. I started riding at age 15, and have loved it for all these years, but there comes a time when it just isn't fun any more.
Jerry
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The time is rapidly approaching when I will get rid of the bike and call it quits. I started riding at age 15, and have loved it for all these years, but there comes a time when it just isn't fun any more.
Jerry
How old are you now, if I might ask, Jerry?
Jim
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Hopefully that is a long time away Jerry. I started riding when I was 5. A Honda QA-50. Rode various bikes until I out grew them and were handed over to my sister. Had my license since age 15. I hate to think what it will be like without a bike.
Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
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LAzine, I completely understand where you and your husband are coming from and think you are making the right decision at this point in your life.
When I met my wife in 2010 she had never been on a motorcycle and really didn’t care to ride with me but did some just to be supportive. We returned from Daytona March 2012 and decided to buy a Ultra Classic Limited so she would be more comfortable. Over the next several months we rode about 3,000 miles together and in late June 2012 my best friend got hit. He was in the hospital for 13 weeks and then rehab. I sold the bike, jackets, shirts everything except my helmet and a couple pairs of gloves, I was done. After seeing my friend like that everyday for those 13 weeks I couldn’t think about riding again. I bought a couple of Corvettes over the next year but never could shake the need to ride. About a year later I bought a used bike and to my surprise my friend that had been in the accident ask could he take it around the neighborhood. Next thing I hear are the pipes as he is hard on the throttle and gone out of the neighborhood. He came back with a big smile and said its time brother. He rented a bike and we took a trip and the next summer he bought another bike. Since them we have had 3 friends in accidents, luckily nothing serious. We try to be cautious but it seems to be the other person most of the time. My wife rarely rides anymore but I’ve continued to do so.
I know this is a long story but my point is only you and your husband know if the time is right to give up riding and only you two will know if the time is right to start riding again.
Best wishes in your decision.
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How old are you now, if I might ask, Jerry?
Jim
I'll be 70 in April Jim. I know there are more than a few people still riding in their 70's, many still doing long distance touring, but for me the magic is gone. I hate to say it, but it does no good trying to con myself.
Jerry
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I'll be 70 in April Jim. I know there are more than a few people still riding in their 70's, many still doing long distance touring, but for me the magic is gone. I hate to say it, but it does no good trying to con myself.
Jerry
Just a little in front of me, Jerry. I know the time will come for me to stop too, but though I'm 68 (in ten days) on the outside, I'm still 20 on the inside, and am blessed to be fit and healthy so far, so I hope to keep riding for some years yet. My big problem will be strength I think. I'm 5'5" (used to be 5'6"!) and 146lbs, so lifting a bike of the stand is getting harder, especially if there's even a slight camber. When the time comes, I'll know though, just as you do.
Jim
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68 here also ...
But, when the time comes that "I can't get it up", I'm going to do the three-wheeler conversion and have it painted to match. :devil:
Of course, they DO make an air operated center stand. :2vrolijk_21:
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,..for me the magic is gone. I hate to say it, but it does no good trying to con myself.
Sounds like you know, but don't lock it in. That may change and you may find yourself out enjoying the ride again. It might be a matter of small adjustments like doing 350 miles a day instead of 450. Having more "off the bike days" during the tour. At least these are things I have learned about myself.
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LAZine, like so many things in life: You'll know when you know--and that will be the right decision for you.
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I retired in 15 and thought I would ride alot more. Bike was new and I was 62.5, then I started feeling bad, took two years and many, many tests to figure out the cause. Then another year of treatment and regaining strength. We rode to Bikeweek this year and both enjoyed it but soon summer popped up and it was just not fun in the Florida heat. The last month we have ridden about a 1000 miles but I Have to admit, it's about over. I find that I am so worried about all the traffic and road construction that I don't enjoy it much. So it may be awhile yet, but end is very near.