Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students crossing the campus when
one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The
second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along
yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful
woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to
the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take
what you want." The first engineer nodded
approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably
wouldn't have fit."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the
pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer,
the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one
morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed , "What's with these guys?! We
must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the
greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper
replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let
them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said,
"That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea And
I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and
see if there's anything he can do for them." The
engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers
and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build
weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does
it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How
does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting
degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate
with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together
discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look
at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system has many
thousands of electrical connections." The last one
said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else
would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't
fix it."
Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it
doesn't have enough features yet."
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An architect, an artist and an engineer were
discussing whether it was better to spend time with
the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist
said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the
passion and mystery he found there. The engineer
said, "I like both."
"Both?" "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress,
they will each assume you are spending time with the
other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some
work done."
Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog
called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll
turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The
frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and
turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay
with you for one week." The engineer took the frog
out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to
the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me
and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you
and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took
the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and
that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything
you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't
have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now
that's cool."
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Topic: Subject: Understanding Engineers (Read 1007 times)