Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Hoist!]

It's because we're so damned good we solve the technical issues that are ours to fix and move on.  But we have so much fun that the fun just keeps on going and going and going and going.

Yeap, the fun keeps going! Like the Obama............. one, where everyone is tearing each other apart! Man, now that's some entertaining chit!!!

And as they say Brian, measure twice, cut once!!!

Hoist!

[Midnight Rider]

Howie walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking,
the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool
table and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in
his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at Howie, "Did you
see what your monkey just did?"

"No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied Howie, "he eats everything in sight.
Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

Howie finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and
leaves.

Two weeks later Howie is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a
drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While Howie is finishing
his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it
up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.


Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and
eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did  just now?"

"No, what?" said Howie.

"Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and
ate them!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied Howie. "He still eats everything in
sight, but ever since he had to $h!t that cue ball out, he measures everything first now."

Now that's some funny chit, right there....

[Gettinold]

So now Howie walks around with a micrometer. 

[Sean M Cary]

Looks like we're off to a good start!

indubitably...

[hunter]

Yeap, the fun keeps going! Like the Obama............. one, where everyone is tearing each other apart! Man, now that's some entertaining chit!!!

And as they say Brian, measure twice, cut once!!!

Hoist!

chit, I have cut my running lite wires twice already and they are still short.   

[Hugh Janis]

Howie was removing a cylinder head from the motor of his SERK when he spotted a well known heart surgeon in his garage. Howie shouted across the garage,

"Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to Howie working on the motorcycle. Howie straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,

"So, Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to Howie ...

"Try doing it with the engine running!"

[Hugh Janis]

One Sunday Howie walks into church and sits down in the front row. As the preacher is beginning his sermon, the devil suddenly appears at the altar. The members of the congregation, including the preacher himself, flee the church in terror, all except for this one old biker in the front row.

The devil notices Howie still in the church and walks down from the altar to confront him. He roars at him, "Do you know who I am?"

"Why of course I know who you are," Howie calmly replies. "You're Satan."

"And you're not afraid of me like the others?" the devil asks somewhat miffed.

To which Howie replies, "No. Why should I be? I was married to your sister for the 20 years."

[Hugh Janis]

Florida Marine pulls up to a toll booth on his gold SERK. Toll collector says, "Two dollars". FM says, "Sold!"

[hunter]

I bet in about 2 months this thread will be the biggest on the site .... 
Reverse psychology by Hoist ..

[MJZ]

A guy's walking down the street and sees Howie smoking a cigarette leaning on his SERK.
He says, "Kid, you're too young to smoke." Howie looks up and doesn't say anything. The guy says, "How old are you?"
Howie says, "Six."
The guy says, "Six? When did you start smoking?" Howie says, "Right after the first time I got laid. The guy says, "Right after the first time you got laid? When was that?" Howie says, "I don't remember. I was drunk."

 

[Hugh Janis]

I've been trying to keep this secret but the Obama and McCain threads are really getting me fired up so it's time to do something.  My platform is beer for all and covered parking at all GTG's!

http://www.inews3.com/play.php?first=Jester%20&last=Whisperer  

[Sean M Cary]

Florida Marine pulls up to a toll booth on his gold SERK. Toll collector says, "Two dollars". FM says, "Sold!"

Wow, that must have taken you all day to think up.

Rest now.

[hogasm]

One Sunday Howie walks into church and sits down in the front row.

Now I believe that miracles can happen

[hogasm]

Howie and Don are standing on top of a hill watching a bunch of cheerleaders working out at the bottom of the hill.

Howie says...lets run down the hill and service one of the cheerleaders....

Don says...lets walk down the hill and service all of them

[Twolanerider]

Howie and Don are standing on top of a hill watching a bunch of cheerleaders working out at the bottom of the hill.

Howie says...lets run down the hill and service one of the cheerleaders....

Don says...lets walk down the hill and service all of them

Twolane