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[Screamin_Beagle]

> The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an
> Early Retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
> retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight
> line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what
> those two points would be.
>
> The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the
> top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and
> walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
>
> The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
> measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked
> out with $96,000.
>
> The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who,
> when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip
> of my weenie to my testicles."
>
> It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
>
> explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had
> received.
> But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him,
> providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
>
> The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em,"
> which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip
> of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.
>
> Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
>
> The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."
>

[Bagger]

> The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an
> Early Retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
> retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight
> line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what
> those two points would be.
>
> The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the
> top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and
> walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
>
> The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
> measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked
> out with $96,000.
>
> The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who,
> when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip
> of my weenie to my testicles."
>
> It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
>
> explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had
> received.
> But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him,
> providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
>
> The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em,"
> which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip
> of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.
>
> Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
>
> The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."
>

Talk about BIG retirement bucks.  NAH!  I'll keep my nads.  [smiley=jalapeno.gif]