Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[erniezap]

I apologize in advance to any lawyers out there...

The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.  So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.
 
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity.  Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says,

"First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"
 
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh...  no, I didn't know that".
 
"Secondly," says the lawyer, "my br  other, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children."
 
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.
 
"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring a huge array of private tutors?"
 
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says "I'm sorry, I had no way of knowing that".
 
And the lawyer says, "So...if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?"

[arcticdude]

That just got sent to my brother, the lawyer! [smiley=huepfenjump3.gif]

[RJ749]

Good one Ernie.

Here's another along the same idea:

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of
the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck
came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's door.

Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and
pulled up behind the Porsche, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a
chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about
how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now
completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how hard the body
shop tries to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in
disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are,"
he said.

"You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important
things in life."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It
got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"

"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer.................................... "MY ROLEX!"