Escaped Con
A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He
breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young
couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the
homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her
neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this
guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot
of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your
neck. If he wants to make love to you, don't resist, don't complain... do
whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both.
Be strong, honey. I love you!"
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.
He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any
Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you,
too!