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[AUSSIE_FLSTFSE]

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. 

" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little sh*t 'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"

That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight