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[SERG3]

Due to the climate of political correctness now
pervading America---Kentuckians, Tennesseans,North Georgians,North
Carolinians and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as
'HILLBILLIES.'

                          You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.



                          And furthermore ....



                           HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY
CORRECT:

                           1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
'BREASTED AMERICAN.'

                           2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER' - She
is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'

                           3. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY
ACCESSIBLE.'

                           4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION
SUPERHIGHWAY.'

                           5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

                            6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is 'REALITY
IMPAIRED.'

                            7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY' - She
gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED'

                            8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' - She
                                is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'

                            9. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
                                'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

                           10. She is not a 'TRAMP' - She is 'SEXUALLY
                                 EXTROVERTED.'

                           11 She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS' -
                                She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR'

                            12 She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
                                 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'


                           HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

                           1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has
                              developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

                           2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He  is 'OVERLY
                               CAUCASIAN.'

                           3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TI ME' - He
                               'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

                            4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE
                                REGRESSION.'

                            5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' - He prefers
                                'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.'

                            6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' - He
                                becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY  HORIZONTAL.'

                            7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He
                                develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

                            8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG' - He has
                                'SWINE EMPATHY.'

                            9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' - He is
                                'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'

                          10. He is not 'HORNY' - He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'

                          11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of
                               his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE '.