The Economy is So Bad...
1. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank.
2. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
3. CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
4. Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars are now trading higher than GM.
5. Obama met with small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package: GE, Pfizer and Citigroup.
6. Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "Finish your plate. Do you know how many kids are starving in the U.S. ?" And people in Africa are donating money to Americans.
7. People in Beverly Hills are firing their nannies and learning their children's names.
8. The most highly-paid job listed on Monster.com is jury duty.
9. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
10. Millions of investors are turning away from the advice investment guru Jim Cramer of CNBC and asking Kramer from Seinfeld for his investment recommendations.
11. Motel Six won't leave the light on.
12. The Mafia is laying off judges.