supposedly true stories of bad situations, this had me in stitches.
Ben:
My parents took me to New Orleans when I was about 12 years old; I spent most of the trip stuffing my face with beignets and complaining about the heat. One day, my parents decide to take me on a trolley ride down St. Charles. We board the trolley only to discover that is filled to the brim exclusively with elderly black women, dressed in their Sunday best, on their way to church. As a nebbishy Jewish kid from the North with bad skin and worse self-esteem, I found this situation to be somewhat intimidating. It started off ok but then I feel a fart coming. There's no stomach pain, no queasiness, no sign whatsoever that this is going to be a bad one, so I lift up a bit in my seat and let it go: sure enough, it's just a little guy.
Before I know it though, I realize I have unleashed the beast. I notice my dad's face tighten and my mom's eye's begin to water, but they keep it together out of fear of embarrassing me. Not so the rest of the trolley car. "Whoa lordy," one lady says, quietly at first, then a bit louder. "Whoooooaaaaa lordy!" she wails. All at once the previously silent trolley erupts into a teeming mass of shouting and activity: the fart had captivated this audience. One woman covered her face with her bonnet, another slumped forward in her seat, feigning death; everyone was laughing so hard I feared for their well beings. "Light a match!" one of them yelled; "no, don't: you'll set the whole car on fire!" another responded. I feared the trolley might derail. I made myself as small as possible but to no avail: they all knew it was me. Their laughter continued long after the smell had dissipated; indeed, I can still hear it today.
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Topic: Someone sent this to me, tales of situations (Read 848 times)