Rules To Enter Idaho
* Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.
* Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road". I drive a pickup
truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
* They are horses, cattle & sheep. That's what they smell like to you.
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-84 goes east and
west, I-95 goes north and south. Pick one.
* So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar air-conditioned tractors that we drive 3 weeks a year.
* So every person in every pickup waves. It's being friendly. Try to
understand the concept.
* If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese are coming in, we WILL
shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
* Yeah, we eat walleye &rainbow trout. You really want sushi & caviar?
It's available at the corner bait shop.
* The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
* We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
* No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak, or you can
order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &turkey.
* When we set out the spread on a table, there are three main dishes:
meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and A-1.
* You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.
* You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute and know how
to shoot & drive a truck.
* High school football is as important here as the Vikings or the
Seattle Seahawks and a lot more fun to watch.
* Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
* Colleges? Try Boise State University, University of Idaho or Idaho State
University. Students and graduates come outta there with an education plus
a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when
they come for the holidays.
* We have more folks per capita in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air
Force than any other state. Don't mess with us.