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[Smiler]

 Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?   
Because those men already have boyfriends.   

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?   
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you     

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?   
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?   
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. 

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?"
Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.   

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?   
Everyone there has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes. 

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.   

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? 
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blonde baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment 

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... a recipe.

How do you get a sweet 80 year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80 year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once up! on a ti me ..." -A southern fairytale begins"Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t...."

Why is there no Disneyland in Japan ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

[Hugh Janis]

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? 
A different bar.

Thems're funny!  Here's another Irish one.....

Difference between and Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk! (Sorry Miker!)

[miker]

Thems're funny!  Here's another Irish one.....

Difference between and Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk! (Sorry Miker!)

Nothing better than offensive humor in book lads!  Here is one of my favorites....Slainte!



 A wedding occurred just outside Cavan in Ireland.
 To keep tradition going, everyone gets extremely drunk and the bride's
 and groom's families have a storming row and begin wrecking the reception
 room and generally kicking the chit out of each other. The police get
 called in to break up the fight.

 The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The
 fight continues in the courtroom until the judge finally brings calm with
 the use of his gavel, shouting, 'Silence in court!'

 The courtroom goes silent and Paddy, the best man, stands up and says,
 'Judge, I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain
 what happened.'

 The judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his
 explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan
 wedding that the best man gets the first dance with the bride.

 The judge says, 'OK.'

 'Well,' said Paddy, 'after I had finished the first dance, the music kept
 going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the
 music kept going and I was dancing to the third song, when all of a
 sudden the groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the bride
 an unmerciful kick right between her legs.'

 Shocked, the judge instantly responded, 'God, that must have hurt!'

 'Hurt?' Paddy replies. 'He broke three of my fingers!'