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[harleyteam]

>>>>>A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to
his priest,
>>>>> 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
>>>>>
>>>>> The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'
>>>>>
>>>>> The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed
together, but
>>>>> then I stopped.'
>>>>>
>>>>> The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as
putting it in.
>>>>> You're not to see that woman again.
>>>>>
>>>>> For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in
the poor box '
>>>>>
>>>>> The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and
then walked
>>>>> over to the poor box.
>>>>>
>>>>> He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
>>>>>
>>>>> The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him
saying, 'I saw
>>>>> that.You didn't put any money in the poor box!'
>>>>>
>>>>> The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on
the box, and
>>>>> according to you, that's the same as putting it
in!'
>>>>>
>>>>> ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
>>>>>
>>>>> There once was a religious young woman who went to
Confession. Upon
>>>>> entering the confessional, she said,
>>>>>
>>>>> 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'
>>>>>
>>>>> The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be
forgiven.'
>>>>>
>>>>> The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made
mad passionate
>>>>> love to me seven times.'
>>>>>
>>>>> The priest thought long and hard and then said,
>>>>> 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the
juice.'
>>>>>
>>>>> The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my
sins?'
>>>>>
>>>>> The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off
of your face.'
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>>>>
>>>>> Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a
pet dog for
>>>>> company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the
parish priest
>>>>> and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be
saying' a Mass for
>>>>> the poor crea ture?'
>>>>>
>>>>> Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot
have services for
>>>>> an animal in the church But there are some Baptists down
the lane, and
>>>>> there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe
they'll do something for
>>>>> the creature.'
>>>>>
>>>>> Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya
think $5,000 is enough
>>>>> to donate to them for the service?'
>>>>>
>>>>> Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of
Jesus! Why didn't ya
>>>>> tell me the dog was Catholic?
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> And my favorite:
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following
conversation
>>>>> ensues: Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife
of 70 years,
>>>>> many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.
Yesterday, I
>>>>> picked up two college girls, hitchhiking . We went to a
motel, where I
>>>>> had sex with each of them three times.'
>>>>>
>>>>> Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
>>>>>
>>>>> Man: 'What sins? '
>>>>>
>>>>> Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
>>>>>
>>>>> Man: 'I'm Jewish.'
>>>>>
>>>>> Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'
>>>>>
>>>>> Man: 'I'm 92 years old ... I'm telling
everybody.'
>>>>>

[the barber]

I hear you man. I was catholic, but it was a pain in my arss.

[RedDevil]

I hear you man. I was catholic, but it was a pain in my arss.

Ummmmm, not even going to touch that one!!

[Fired00d]

Ummmmm, not even going to touch that one!!

 
Ride Safe,
Fired00d