Dear Husband
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done,
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home
and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game.
You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything.
Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are
moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your Ex-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is
a far cry from what you've been.
I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad
that doesn't work.
I did notice whenyou cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind
was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything
if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you
must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating
pork seven years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million
dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got
home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have
the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that
you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed
Rich and Free
Author
Topic: Letter from My Ex-Wife (Read 2229 times)