A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or
legs.
The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this
parrot?'
The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'
'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!'
'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly
intelligent thoroughly educated bird.'
'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this --
how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?'
'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing but since you
asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a
little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.'
'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand
and speak English can't you?'
'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can
converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics,
religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at
ornithology.. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.'
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I
just can't afford that.'
'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody
wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20 just make the guy an offer!'
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great
sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands
everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is
delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one
wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife
and the UPS man..'
What are you talking about?' asks the guy.
'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife
greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.'
'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN
what happened?'
'Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted
up her nightie and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.
'NO!' he exclaims. 'And she let him?'
'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got
down on his knees and began to kiss her all over.....'
Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'
'Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!'
Author
Topic: The Parrot (Read 605 times)