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[Unbalanced]

I am STILL laughing!!  Many of today's youth are terribly challenged
  without a computer to tell them what to do!!

 Lack  of education is not funny!!
 
   On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to
  eat.
   In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2
  bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone
  getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.
 
   Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go."
 
   Server: "That'll be $1.04.  Eat in?"
 
   Me: "No, it's to go."   At this point, I open my billfold and hand him
  the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
 
   Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."  He goes to talk to
  his manager, who is still within my earshot.  The  following
  conversation occurs between the two of them:
   Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
   Manager: "No. A what?"
   Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
   Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill."
   Server: "Yeah, thought so."
 
   He comes back to me and says, "We don't take these. Do you have
  anything else?"
 
   Me: "Just this fifty.  You don't take $2 bills?  Why?"
 
   Server: "I don't know."
 
   Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"
 
   Server: "Yeah."
 
   Me: "So, why won't you take it?"
 
   Server: "Well, hang on a sec."
 
   He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a
  shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to take it."
 
   Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
 
   Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and  get
  change "
 
   Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."
 
   Server: "What should I do?"
 
   Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."
 
   Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."
 
   Manager: "Just tell him."
 
   Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."
 
   The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't take  big
  bills this time of night."
 
   Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."
 
   Manager: "We don't take those, either."
 
   Me: "Why not?"
 
   Manager: "I think you know why."
 
   Me: "No really, tell me why."
 
   Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
 
   Me: "Excuse me?"
 
   Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
 
   Me: "What on earth for?"
 
   Manager: "Please, sir."
 
   Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
 
   Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
 
   Me: "No."
 
   Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then."
 
   Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"
 
   At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the
  phone around the corner.  I have two people staring at me from the
  dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few
  minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.
 
   Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
 
   Manager (whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some (pause)
  funny money."
 
   Guard: "No kidding! What?"
 
   Manager: "Get this ... a two dollar bill."
 
   Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"
 
   Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing
  he has is a fifty."
 
   Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"
 
   Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."
 
   Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"
 
   Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
 
   Guard: "Yeah."
 
   Security Guard walks over to me and......
 
   Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to
  use."
 
   Me: "Uh, no."
 
   Guard: "Lemme see 'em."
 
   Me: "Why?"
 
   Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"
 
   At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat,
 so
  I say  "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this  two
  dollar bill.
 
   I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a
  swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his
 hands,
  and says, "Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
 
   Manager: "It's fake."
 
   Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."
 
   Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."
 
   Guard: "Yeah?"
 
   Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"
 
   The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it
  dawns on the guy that he has no clue.
 
   So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small
  drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
 
   Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what
  happens when I try to buy stuff.  If I got the right group of  people,
 I
  could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too!

[grc]

I am STILL laughing!!  Many of today's youth are terribly challenged
  without a computer to tell them what to do!!

 Lack  of education is not funny!!

Unbalanced,

Right you are!  Another thing that boggles my mind is that many if not most of the youngsters working a cash register now days cannot figure change.  I recently had reason to make several trips to Sears Hardware for some odd-ball fasteners, and the cash register was acting up and wouldn't figure the change.  Two different young ladies waited on me, and each one had to use a small calculator to figure my change.  Let's see, $5.34 from $6.00, where's that damn calculator?  Very sad state of affairs, IMHO.

Jerry

[Unbalanced]

Grc,

I always wait till they finish the total and see the 20.00 I am going to give them then I add in a dollar or two and some change and it messes them up badly .... Its quite amusing to watch them get flustered since the register will now not figure out what the change is ...

[Rebel]

This thread is so funny (no maybe not, more like "sad").  My daughter and I just had this same experience on Saturday while on a ride.  We were out on Route 40 (the National Road)  just south of Washington, PA.  It's pretty cold up here this time of year and after riding about 2 1/2 hours- we needed to stop and get warmed up.  Alas... a Pizza Hut on the horizon, (which by the way is owned by the same folks that own Taco Bell- kinda ironic- not gonna think about it too much though- could cause a seizure or somethin').  Well, we had some great fresh hot coffee and an appetizer platter- total bill $9.51- I gave the girl (about 17 yrs old) a $20, and as I was digging in my pocket for the .51 cents, she rang it up.  Now I give her the .51 cents- her response was, "I'm sorry sir, it's too late!"  "Too late for what?" I asked.  "Well sir, I already rung it up."  My first thought was that they had one of those change machines that automatically dumps out the coins.  Then it hit me!  My response very nicely was "ok, just do the math"  Whoops.... she says... "I can't."  ? [smiley=nixweiss.gif]  I again trying to be very polite said... "Are you telling me you can't add?"  She said "NO".  "Are you serious?" I asked- her response was... (You know I'm in dire need of help here)  She said she couldn't add.  Ok now, she's 17 years old- a junior in High School and she's telling me she can't add.  AARRRGGHHH!!!  I explained to her, as thankfully a senior member of the Pizza Hut team arrived on the scene to rescue me, that she should not depend on the machine... please study in school... after all, she could be a future leader of our beautiful country.... or then again, maybe that's were the deficit came from???  [smiley=oops.gif]

[thatrhinoguy]

I like to use two-dollar bills just to watch the cashier try to figure out where to put it in the drawer, I've never had anyone think they aren’t real. I also use them as tips too, waitresses remember you when you tip with goofy money like twos and golden dollars.