Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands. "The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under arock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the venom down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.
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In the sleepy village of Erbum near the town of Tillet in Hertfordshire, lives a woman called Susan Lykes. She is the landlady of the local pub, The Cock Inn. Her mail is addressed to:
Susan Lykes
The Cock Inn
Erbum
Tillet
Herts
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Riding the favourite at Flemington, a jockey was well ahead of the field. Suddenly he was hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages.
He managed to keep control of his mount and pulled back into the lead, only to be struck by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies as he went over the last fence.
With great skill he managed to steer the horse to the front of the field once more when, on the run in, he was struck on the head by a bottle of sherry and a Christmas pudding.
Thus distracted, he succeeded in coming only second.
He immediately went to the stewards to complain that he had been seriously hampered.
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Two old drunks are sitting in a bar when the first one says,"Ya know, when I was thirty and got an erection, I couldn't bend it, even using both hands. By the time I was forty, I could bend it about ten degrees if I tried really hard.By the time I was fifty, I could bend it about forty five degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be sixty next week, and now I can bend it in half with just one hand."
"So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?"
"Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get."
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Bob and John are walking home from the Pub pissed and see a dog licking his balls.
Bob say, "I wish I could do that".
John replies "you better pat him first, he might bite".
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Topic: a few more (Read 697 times)