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[cvobiker]

After a relaxing bath, Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself naked in a mirror...remembering the time with Bill Clinton.
 
Her frustration over her inability to lose weight was depressing her. In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help...
 
"God, if you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to you," she prayed.*

And just like that, her ears fell off!*

[lilcoot]

Very good.

The other day, Monica walked into a dry cleaner to drop off a dress. 

The owner was an older gentleman, who was a little hard of hearing. 

Not realizing this, Monica said "Please, I need this done by next week" in a quiet voice, not wanting to draw attention to herself.

Not quite sure what she said, the dry cleaner inquired "What?  I'm sorry, come again?"

"No!" snapped Monica, blushing.  "Just a little mustard!"

[D-N-D]

 

[grayghost731]

  

[ultrarider123]

OK, both of those are funny right there...second one made me have to clean coffee off the computer screen.

[Buy early]

 

[red ben59]

Both are funny 

[cvobiker]

Oh Gesh... i was holding my breath!!! so far it survived