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[FlaHeatWave]

  Lesson  1:

    A man is getting  into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,  when the doorbell rings.

    The wife quickly  wraps herself in a towel and runs  downstairs.

    When she opens the  door, there stands Bob, the next-door  neighbor

    Before she says a  word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that  towel.'

    After thinking for  a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of  Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and  leaves..

    The woman wraps  back up in the towel and goes back  upstairs.

    When she gets to  the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was  that?'
 'It was Bob the  next door neighbor she  replies.

    'Great,' the  husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes   me?'

    Moral of the  story:
   If you share  critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your  shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent  avoidable exposure.

    Lesson  2:
   A priest offered a  Nun a lift.

    She got in and  crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a  leg.

    The priest nearly  had an accident.

    After regaining  control of the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her  leg.
 The nun said,  'Father, remember Psalm  129?'

    The priest removed  his hand, but after changing gears, he let his hand slide up her  leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm  129?'

    The priest  apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is  weak.'

    Arriving at the  convent, the nun sighed  heavily
   and went on her  way.

    On his arrival at  the church,  the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.. It  said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find  glory.'

    Moral of the  story:
   If you are not  well informed in your job, you might miss a great  opportunity.

   Lesson  3:
   A sales rep, an administration clerk,  and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique  oil lamp.

    They rub it and a Genie comes  out.

    The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you  just one wish.'

    'Me first! Me first!' says the admin  clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat,  without a care in the   world.'

    Puff! She's  gone.

    'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep.  'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal  masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my  life.'

    Puff! He's  gone.

    'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the  manager.
  The manager says, 'I want those two back  in the office after  lunch.'

    Moral of the  story:
   Always let your  boss have the first say.

[FlaHeatWave]

 Lesson  4
   An eagle was sitting on a tree resting,  doing nothing.

    A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked  him, 'Can I also sit like you and do  nothing?'

    The eagle answered: 'Sure, why  not.'

    So, the rabbit sat on the ground below  the eagle and rested. All of a  sudden, a fox appeared,  jumped on the rabbit and ate  it.

    Moral of the  story:
   To be sitting and  doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high  up.

  Lesson  5
   A turkey was chatting with a  bull.

    'I would love to be able to get to the  top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the  energy.'

    'Well, why don't you nibble on some of  my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with  nutrients.'

    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and  found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest  branch of the tree.

    The next day, after eating some more  dung, he reached the second  branch

    Finally after a fourth night, the turkey  was proudly perched at the top of the  tree.

    He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who  shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the  story:
   Bull Chit might  get you to the top, but it won't keep you  there..

    Lesson  6
   A little bird was  flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and  fell to the ground into a large  field.

    While he was lying  there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on  him..

    As the frozen bird  lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm  he was.

    The dung was  actually thawing him out!
 He lay there all  warm and happy, and soon  began to sing for  joy.

    A passing cat  heard the bird singing and came to  investigate.

    Following the  sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,  and promptly dug him out and ate  him.

    Morals of the  story:
   (1) Not everyone  who chits on you is your  enemy;

    (2) Not everyone  who gets you out of chit is your friend;  and

    (3) When you're in  deep chit, it's best to keep your mouth  shut!

[smkymtnboy]

 

[Yellow09SERG]

Dang I need to study the last one some more

[D-N-D]

 

[Doniwin]

Can't wait to read lesson 8

[red ben59]

Good lessons 

[grayghost731]