BB
After losing my father over a year ago, my #7 step mother gave me a few of my dads things, his motorcycle, guns, pictures, even his leather jacket and helmet which still have his scent and strands of his hair. I even have his last pack of cigarettes, which more than likely caused his death. These are only "things" and will not bring him back, but for what its worth its the memories that are important. I'm sure you have plenty of those from your home back in Maine, some good, some bad, so with that being said would you still be as happy there without your parents or would the pain of them being gone be to much on you. Only you know that.
I can tell you how honored I was to be able to take ownership of my Dads things, but was sure an emotional rollercoaster when I went to get them.
He too had a "Getaway Lake Retreat" that my #7 still has, and maybe someday we may end up with that, but for sure
it was not the same place it used to be before dad passed.
I wish you luck Brian ! Dont give up if you realy want it. Hell move back home with your mom and and help take care of her. She"s your mother and I'm sure she loves you as much as you love her. It will all work out the god had intened it to.
Hope this helped a little.